What my grandmother knew about making it in America
We have a video of my grandmother from 1996. She is 81. She’s in the kitchen, joy brimming in her eyes and beaming from her highcheekboned smile. She has just gotten a job.
She describes her responsibilities at three local nursing homes. Part of the work is to keep people company. Provide human connection in a world rapidly slipping away from them. She does filing, too, and has learned to use the fancy electronic typewriter.
The moment that steals the show, however, is when she says with her trademark spunk, “Down there, honey, I’m working! I am working! And I ain’t cleanin’ no bathroom, either.”
A reminder
Just like that, I’m reminded of where I come from. Who I come from. Our elders have seen some things. They have lived some lives. They have been in worlds far away from this one.
My grandmother was raised in a world where the men worked the land and the women had jobs that usually required cleaning somebody else’s bathroom. They learned, out of necessity, how to bring dignity to the kind of work others considered beneath them. Yet she, like all those around her, despised the lack of options. In this place. In this land of opportunity.
A couple of weeks ago, we hired some folks to give our house an end-of-summer deep clean. (It’s a luxury, but worth it — boys live here.) I’d also asked a landscaping crew to fix some plantings I’d botched that didn’t survive the recent dry spell.
Both crews showed up on the same Friday morning — Hispanic women inside cleaning and Hispanic men laboring out in the yard. And me, who comes from sharecroppers and dishwashers and Jim Crow’s domestics, wondering why the scene felt so uncomfortable. Wondering why this world kind of looks like my grandmother’s, with the hues different.
We bring our histories and our understandings of things to the scenes that play out in front of us. They help us see the patterns. The people you learn living from have an outsize impact on how you view the world.
Some might see the little scene at my house as a sign of progress, economic mobility and such. Others might call it further proof that race, ethnicity, gender and nation of origin overdetermine one’s chances in America.
More to the worker than work
And then there are those who look at the scene and wonder about the people in it. How did we end up in a rhyme of history? And why am I on this end of it?
To be clear, my house that day was just a rhyme and not a rerun. The minority-owned cleaning company provides its employees with benefits, bonuses, and no work on weekends or nights. We tip the ladies in cash. The landscaping crew gets above-market price for the work, and deservedly so.
But in our nation’s history, the people who carry out the labor labeled as lowest-skilled tend to come from the same racial or ethnic group. At various times and places, those people were Irish or East Asian. In southwest Georgia and large swaths of the nation, they were Black. In the suburbs of our nation’s capital today, they are Hispanic.
And, like clockwork, theories of inferiority soon emerge as justification. These workers are lesser. In intellect. In biology. In culture.
I know better. In the world where I was raised, Sunday’s deacon at church was Monday’s janitor at the high school. I know there is more to a worker than the kind of work they do. But what does it mean when the descendants of those folks are now in a position to hire the people who have taken their place?
My grandmother’s joy in the kitchen that morning was a lesson to me that, while the kind of work matters much, the nature of the worker matters far more. And it’s why I couldn’t help but see younger versions of my elders in the men and women at my house that Friday morning.
Different in history and circumstance, certainly. But similar in the dogged pursuit of more opportunity and better choices — if not for themselves, then for their families. In this place. In this land of opportunity.
True dignity
Making it in America cannot just mean you have options and resources that weren’t available to your elders. It must also mean you recognize the responsibility to today’s strivers, in things large and small.
Once, I was unloading a few stalks of freshly cut sugar cane at my grandmother’s house — a welcome treat in those humid country summers. As I made my way from the truck to the picnic table that sat under a pecan tree, she said, “Ya’ll move out the way of working folk!”
It was a playful take on a hardearned truth: People bring true dignity to work, not the other way around.