NFL draft weekend: What does it all mean?
It arrives every year with a language all its own
This is the weekend on the annual sports calendar when it becomes painfully evident that most NFL post-draft analysis is exactly like most NFL pre-draft analysis, perhaps owing to the fact that despite how it appeared on TV, nothing really happened.
Nofootball games were playedwhile you were in the restroom between rounds, andnone are scheduled for thenext four months, so eventhough downtown Detroitlooked like Live Aid atWembley, I think we can still tell the difference betweenFreddie Mercury drivingQueen through 21 incendiaryminutes and RogerGoodell announcing thename of an edge rusher fromFlorida State.
I think.
The most relevant analysis in these parts is that the Steelers got their man in the first round, an offensive lineman who can presumably solidify an offense that’s been truly offensive. Specifically, there was near universal analyst agreement that by selecting Troy Fautanu from Washington with the 20th pick, the Steelers got a “plug and play,” guy.
I guess this means there’s no assembly required, no development necessary, and the best part about plug and play guys is that if something goes haywire with ‘em, you just unplug ‘em and wait 10 seconds, then plug ‘em back in.
A major feature of the 2024 draft analysis, pre- and post-, was this accelerating obsession with room dynamics. I read somewhere that Steelers management had intentions of reshaping the tight ends room, which I assume is some kind of rectangle at the moment but could be anything with the right interior decorator — an octagon? There was a lot of discussion the other night about what teams were going to do with their quarterbacks room, and ESPN’s panel of analysts nearly fell off their chairs when the Falcons selected Michael Penix Jr. with the 8th pick, putting him in the same quarterback room with the recently-acquired Kirk Cousins. It sounded like Cousins apparently likes the room the way it is, particularly the crown molding and the carpeting perhaps, and Penix could shake things up with some plants or wall art or something. What does the room have to do with it?
Perhaps it has something to do with the ongoing ceiling/floor discussion. A lot of players in the draft were said to be high ceiling guys, and many got identified as high floor guys as well. OK, but I don’t think anyone’s ever purposely drafted a low ceiling guy. Regardless of position or need, you want a draft pick with a cathedral ceiling, but you can only hope for a player like North Carolina quarterback Drake Maye, who went to the Patriots with the third pick.
Maye, said ESPN’s Louis Riddick, has “talent through the roof.”
Most of the discussion involving Football IQ got limited to pre-draft analysis again this year, you’d imagine because Football IQ tests are not given on draft weekend, and no one should assume that any individual player’s Football IQ is lower or higher than his Generic IQ, or even his Basketball or Baseball IQ.
When the Lions chose cornerback Terrion Arnold from Alabama with the 24th pick in the first round, it set up some interesting training camp battles between Arnold and All-Pro wideout Amon-ra St. Brown, whose IQ is, as they say, through the roof.
Amon-Ra took the SAT test in German and in French, according to the L.A. Times. His brother, Osiris St. Brown, took the SAT in German, French, and English.
Why?
Because they could. Both were offered scholarships to Stanford. In English, I guess.
You don’t need to qualify for Stanford in multiple languages to understand that once all the draft analysis is in, the totality of what it means remains pure speculation.
Kenny Pickett was a first-round pick, while Tom Brady was a sixth-round pick, and you needn’t know much more about the whole production than that.
That doesn’t mean we’re not going to do everything possible to provide you with more, of course, and it’s within that exhaustive process that some truly insightful conclusions may be drawn.
Whenthe New York Giants took LSU wideout Malik Nabers with the sixth pick, analyst Booger McFarland noted, “He can play inside. He can play outside.”
That about covers it. The Giants, who play outside, will play at Atlanta this season, where the game could be inside if the roof on Mercedez-Benz Stadium is closed. If that happens, you needn’t worry about Malik Nabers.
It’s possible no player was analyzed this year more than USC quarterback Caleb Williams, the first player taken Thursday night by the Chicago Bears, who sent Justin Fields to the Steelers to clear the quarterback room for him. Of all the things said of Williams, the one to remember came from the analysts at The 33rd Team, who noted his “flexible arm talent.”
That’s right; he’s Stretch Armstrong.
In any event, good luck to Mr. Fautanu, whether he plays left tackle or right tackle or somewhere in between. The important thing is he’s a plug and play; I’m sure there are plenty of outlets in the O-line room.