Wedding cast of characters reflects a sordid family history

DEAR ABBY: My son, “Chad,” is being married in June to “Jenny,” a girl his sister “Madison” introduced him to. Madison feels she should be a bridesmaid in their wedding because she introduced them. Madison had sex with Jenny’s boyfriend “Axel” before she met Chad, got pregnant and had Axel’s baby.

Jenny feels Madison screwed up her life and, even though she’s about to marry my son, she doesn’t want to reward Madison by asking her to be in the wedding. My daughter says if she’s not in the wedding she won’t attend, and won’t allow her son (by Axel) to be the ring bearer, either.

I feel Chad and his fiancee should be able to have their wedding the way they want. I do not want to miss my only son’s wedding because my daughter feels slighted. What should I do and say? — COMPLICATED IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR COMPLICATED: While it’s unfortunate that Jenny can’t let bygones be bygones in the interest of future family harmony, you must not allow your daughter to dictate the plans for her brother’s wedding. When the big day arrives, you should definitely attend and celebrate with Chad and Jenny. If Madison chooses not to attend as a guest, that’s her decision, and you should not allow her to make it your problem.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www. DearAbby.com or P. O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.