Recovering mom doesn’t want dog

Dear Amy: For the past 2 ½ years my son (now 9) has been asking for a dog. I’ve been saying no because while I like dogs, I prefer them in other people’s houses. I didn’t want to take on the considerable expense and care for a dog.

Four months ago, I had a brain aneurysm. Thankfully, I am OK and recovering. However, during my recovery in the hospital I thought I was dying and that it would be a good idea for my son to have a dog to love and care for in the event that I did die. I was coming off of anesthesia and on a lot of pain medication. I feel confident in saying that at the time, I was not in my right mind.

Unfortunately, my husband took me at my word and told our son I said yes ... and then we got this dog. I was home recovering when that happened, so I still wasn’t quite able to put a stop to it. Now I’m saddled with a dog I don’t want.

I am irritated, annoyed and resentful. I work from home about 60 percent of the time, and so it falls on me to walk her twice a day. My husband/son do it the rest of the time. I would like to responsibly re-home her, but I don’t know how to discuss this with my son. He loves this dog and I’m afraid that if I re-home her, he will never forgive me.

I don’t want to damage my relationship with him, but I am unhappy with this dog in my house. Can you help me with a suggestion on how to approach this — or how to cope?

— Not-Woof

Dear Not-Woof: This is tricky, because your health still seems somewhat shaky. But understand, too, that your neardeath experience will have affected your son in profound and possibly traumatic ways.

This dog may be important to him even beyond the normal child-dog devotion because of what your family has been through. This dog is not expendable. Giving her away now could have a profound impact on your son.

I hope you can give this more time and explore ways to ease this burden for you. If there is a nearby kennel, “doggy day care” or experienced pet sitter, perhaps your husband could drop off the dog during the day for three or four days a week and you could pick her up at the end of your workday. This would give you privacy and might give her some important canine interaction during the day. Hiring a dog walker would also give you a welcome break from this disruption.

It sounds as if your husband and son are stepping up when they are home, which is great. It is imperative that your husband work with you and support your efforts. Re-homing the dog should be a mutual decision.

Dear Amy: I’m an older woman. I’m attractive, well-groomed, speak clearly and enjoy socializing over a meal with others. If I was eating and someone I know asked if she/he could sit with us, I’d welcome them to the table.

I saw a married couple I know quite well who were just sitting down in a very casual cafeteria in our church. I asked if I could sit with them. The wife acted awkward and responded that no, she would prefer me not to.

I’ve eaten with them many times before. I wasn’t asking them to pay for me, and they know that, from many times we have eaten together.

I don’t understand this. I wonder if it is bad manners to ask if you can join someone. I really like companionship and friendship, so this felt like rejection.

— Wondering

Dear Wondering: It is not rude to ask if you can join someone — certainly at church, where this fellowship is part of the worship experience.

My instinct is that this couple was in the middle of a private conversation or having a tiff when you approached. They didn’t handle this graciously, but I hope you will forgive them.

Dear Amy: Wow — thank you for your response to “Concerned Parent,” who wondered about his kid’s Michael Jackson obsession. Regardless of Jackson’s legacy, I LOVED that you recommended other artists for this child to learn about (especially Janet Jackson).

— A Fan

Dear Fan: I hope this parent continues to encourage and foster the child’s interest in music and dance.

Copyright 2019 by Amy Dickinson

Distributed by Tribune Content Agency

ARIES (March 21-April 19) — Today is a 9 — Someone attractive is saying nice things about you. Everything seems to be coming together. Good fortune around work, money and romance brightens your outlook. Celebrate together.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) — Today is an 8 — Get into domestic arts and joys. Creative ideas abound. Share some beauty, comfort and relaxation with family and friends. Prepare simple flavors and treats.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) — Today is an 8 — Find creative outlets to advance a cause you feel passionate about. Listen to a wider conversation. Edit communications to clearly express your heart.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) — Today is a 9 — Extra income is available. Creative work can pay well. Push beyond old limits. Invest in your business. You can get the resources you need.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) — Today is a 9 — Get a lucky personal break. You’re attractive and charismatic. Score an achievement, milestone or win. Make profitable plans to realize a dream.

VIRGO (Aug. 23Sept. 22) — Today is a 5 — Find a quiet place to think. Nature inspires you. Consider hopes, wishes and visions. Hidden assets help fulfill a dream. You’re drawn to love magnetically.