Wife’s gambling is draining savings

Dear Amy: My wife has been a great wife and companion for 50-plus years, however, this last year I believe she has become heavily addicted to computer gambling.

Approximately $50,000 is missing from our checking account.

She is the first to leave the living room at 8 p.m. when her favorite evening game show ends. She heads for the computer room (before anyone else can), where she plays “free cell” nonstop until 11 p.m. or midnight. When I am up at 2 or 3 in the morning, I sometimes peek, and there she is in front of a computer screen of cards.

She claims she is not gambling our money, but I am suspicious. Further, she is often playing free cell at 6 or 7 a.m., as soon as she arises.

I have cut the computer cord once and considered doing it again last night, but that action also means that I have no access to email. Is there cause for concern in this scenario?

— Wondering

Dear Wondering: You cannot possibly wonder whether you should be concerned. A huge sum — $50,000 — has disappeared from your account! Don’t you want to know where it went? And (this is off topic, but) why, oh why, do you have that amount of money in a checking account in the first place?

The cord you need to cut is the one controlling access to this money. It should be tucked away into an account that neither of you has instant access to.

You must confront your wife about this. If she has become addicted to gambling, this is a very serious problem. Not only could she run through the family’s savings very quickly, but it will affect her health (look at all the sleep she is missing), damage your marriage and potentially ruin her other relationships.

Your wife might have credit cards in her name that you are unaware of. You both could be sitting on a big pile of hidden debt.

The National Council on Problem Gambling has a “national helpline” you can call: 800-522-4700. The website is ncpgambling.org.

You can be connected with information and resources, including a local counselor. Please do your best to get a clear handle on this before it completely envelops your family, creating lasting damage. Dear Amy: I have some neighbors who live up my street and have two dogs.

Their young teen sons occasionally walk them, and they let the dogs do their business in the street or in other neighbors’ yards.

I’ve seen them do this in front of our house. When I came outside to talk to one of these boys, he ran with his dog. It’s evident that both of these boys don’t want to take responsibility for cleaning up.

I’m a college student, so I’m not always able to catch these boys when they’re out walking the dogs. My mom would like to talk to the boys the next time she sees them walking the dogs. However, they seem to be elusive. My sister thinks that she should walk to the neighbor’s house and politely address the problem.

How should I address this?

— Angry

Dear Angry: You could post a small sign at the edge of your yard reminding neighbors to please clean up after their dogs.

Otherwise, definitely nab these boys if you catch them in the act. If they run away, or retaliate, an adult should call the home or reach out over private FB message to say, “Hi, we live just down the street from you. I’m concerned because when your boys walk the dogs, they don’t clean up after them. Could you remind them to do this? We’d really appreciate it.”

Dear Amy: I have to admit, I was surprised at your reasonable answer to the question posed by “Gramma,” who witnessed an incident between her two 6-year-old grandchildren, engaged in what we used to call “playing doctor.”

I assumed you would jump on the bandwagon of some of Gramma’s relatives, who were basically accusing the male cousin of some sort of assault.

Thank you for pointing out that this sort of play is common among young kids, and that branding one an aggressor and the other a “victim” is damaging for both.

— Common Sense

Dear Common Sense: Thank you. My heart broke for this family, which has been torn apart over what sounded like fairly common, unthreatening behavior.

Copyright 2019 by Amy Dickinson

Distributed by Tribune Content Agency

ARIES (March 21-April 19) — Today is a 6 — Slow down, and smell the roses. Guard against fears and impetuous action. Begin a good phase for studying. It’s easier to concentrate today and tomorrow.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) — Today is an 8 — Watch for jealousies. Stand up for yourself. Start computing expenses. You can make extra cash for a few days. Have patience with traffic or delays.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) — Today is an 8 — Energy surges are predicted. You’re more assertive over the next few days. Wear your power suit to advocate for goodness, truth and beauty.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) — Today is a 5 — Think about things for a while. Avoid overstimulation, and stay close to home. You’re especially productive behind closed doors. Slow down, and consider your options.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) — Today is a 7 — Stay out of someone else’s argument. Tempers could spark. Do your part of a group effort. Keep bargains and agreements. Prioritize planning over action.

VIRGO (Aug. 23Sept. 22) — Today is a 7 — Stay calm in a chaotic professional situation. Consider options and solutions. Ignore distractions, and anticipate upcoming changes. You can forge ahead with determination.