At home, confronting demons of alcoholism
She’s been stuck at home with an alcoholic husband since day one of the lockdown.
“I see him every day now that he’s retired, since March. It’s overwhelming,” she said.
The Lake County couple has been married for more than 30 years. His drinking problem started long before a pandemic forced them to spend most hours of every day together. Before the public health crisis and stay-athome restrictions, there used to be built-in diversions in their home – his job, her errands, their kids.
Their involuntary alone time has forced them to confront his demons, her resentment, and their longtime marital issues. He can’t go to bars like he used to. She can’t pretend he doesn’t have a serious drinking problem.
“Lately, because I have a captive audience, I have been telling him how I feel, and how it’s been raising the kids alone all these years,” she said. “I’m getting a lot off of my chest and there is a flicker of awareness in his responses. But I still know he doesn’t get it. Saying sorry and moving on just doesn’t work.”
The wife, who doesn’t drink alcohol, reached out to me to share her painful story. It’s a common story for millions of couples who’ve been self-quarantined together with similar problems involving alcoholism or drug addiction. Excuses and alibis are harder to find when you’re stuck under the same roof day after day, coupled with financial stressors, family pressures, and legitimate fears about a potentially danger