Many facing a dark winter
Today’s column is the first in a series on residents of longterm care facilities who may feel lonely, isolated or disconnected during pandemic-related social restrictions.
For the first time in 84 years, Roberta Thomasino celebrated her birthday without any family members in her presence.
“Her birthday went as well as we can expect,” said her daughter, Tina Dravet. “We did our best to shower her with affection and anything to make her smile.”
Thomasino lives at the Wyndmoor assisted living facility in Portage. Social restriction mandates did not allow her family to be with her. They did their best to make her feel loved and remembered on her special day.
They delivered her favorite goodies and birthday decorations, called her on the phone, and sent pictures through her Claris Companion tablet. It’s
designed specifically for older users to stay connected with family and friends. During the course of this pandemic, such devices have served as digital lifelines for quarantined residents in longterm care centers.
“It works for her,” Dravet said. “My mom would’ve been confused with a smartphone.”
On Nov. 14, Thomasino’s birthday, it helped reconnect her to a welcomed tradition.
“She was in good spirits,” Dravet said. “She was kept very busy. And glad to be out of isolation from a recent hospital visit, so she was able to be with her friends in her community.”
As our country limps into this holiday season and an ominous “dark winter,” my column series will shine a glimmer of light on tenants of assisted-living facilities who’ve been isolated from loved ones and normal social interactions. Most of these seniors boast a back story that goes beyond “nursing home resident.”
Thomasino was a proud homemaker in the truest sense of the word.
“She had a couple of part-time jobs, but her remarkable accomplishment was a simple one – she and my father devoted themselves to making a house a happy home,” Dravet said. “She provided and cared for us, giving us a loving and stable environment.”
Helping with homework, soothing heartaches, and decorating their home with spirited affection. Thomasino illustrated what love and faith look like, setting examples that continue today.
“Even now, when she faces so many difficulties, you will find her caring for others around her. She sees a person in need and watches out for them,” her daughter said.
Thomasino was born in Gary, the third of six children in a middle-class family that later moved to Hobart. On Nov. 19, 1955, she married Guy Thomasino, who died in 2006. Throughout her life, she possessed a gift of sharing her experiences through poetry.
One poem in her journal, titled “My Snowflake,” personalizes a seasonal joy.
“Behind iced windows I look out and gaze, catch the fall of a snowflake out on the lake. To think of the trillions of white feathered ice, comes every year just for my delight,” she writes. “A pompous array gathered around, on hilltops, on housetops and down on the ground. The child in me asks for much more. Pile it, push it, snowflakes galore.”
Dravet told me, “Her poem deserves to be heard, and people need it right now.”
With COVID-19 resurging in the U.S., assistedliving centers are populated
with occupants who struggle with worsened loneliness and fears of a potentially lethal virus.
A report released Nov. 17, by the American Health Care Association and National Center for Assisted Living, shows nursing homes have reached a record number of new weekly COVID-19 cases due to community spread in the U.S. This latest surge surpasses previous peaks since the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services began tracking cases in nursing homes.
“Our worst fears have come true as COVID runs rampant among the general population, and long-term care facilities are powerless to fully prevent it from entering due to its asymptomatic and pre-symptomatic spread,” said Mark Parkinson, president and CEO of AHCA/NCAL.
An analysis of federal data from 20 states finds that new weekly cases among nursing home residents rose nearly four-fold from the end of May to late October, from 1,083 to 4,274, according to The Associated Press. Resident deaths more than doubled, from 318 a week to 699, according to a study by University of Chicago health researchers Rebecca Gorges and Tamara Konetzka.
The pandemic has intensified chronic allegations against the long-term care industry regarding staffing shortages and overwhelmed facilities. In Indiana, Gov. Eric Holcomb has deployed members of the state’s National Guard to long-term care centers and nursing homes for support and to teach front-line workers infection control measures.
According to Indiana State Department of Health, the 56-bed residential facility where Thomasino resides has had no substantiated complaints this year. Thomasino’s daughter has no complaints about her mother’s new home.
“They do a great job,” Dravet said.
The challenge for families is to make their loved ones inside these facilities feel loved and connected without burdening staffs that are already stretched so thin, she said.
“We can text my mother. She can text us or simply push a ‘call me’ button. Our picture is by our names. We can send photos and videos. We can video chat,” Dravet said. “This situation is something I never could have imagined. We have to think of new ways to connect or bring back old ways.”
For instance, a handwritten poem that shares a common experience from both sides of a window in a long-term care center.
“Some love the glitter, some just the white. Some love the stillness of snow in the night,” Thomasino penned. “I love it all. You name it, I’ll agree. It’s one of God’s gifts for all to see.”