Let’s shoot off fireworks, not our mouths
My attitude was barely civil. Chuck Hughes invited me to his office at the Gary Chamber of Commerce to share his background of hosting high-profile events in his city, and in Northwest Indiana.
“And then in 1995…” he said, pointing to another photo on his office wall.
I shrugged.
Hughes, the chamber’s longtime president and CEO, had a well thought-out plan in mind to educate me about his long, distinguished career. I didn’t know his plan going in.
I was in between other interviews and appointments that day, expecting to be at Hughes’ office in the former Majestic Star Casino for just a few minutes. He didn’t know this going in.
We were on different pages in different books.
After 30 minutes passed, I started getting visibly agitated. I often struggle with a lack of patience. Especially so when I feel my time is being hijacked without a purpose.
“Chuck, can you please get to the point?” I bristled during one break in our chat.
“I am, Jerry,” Hughes replied with a laugh.
He showed me more old photos. He recalled more career milestones. He was driving me crazy. I kept glancing at the time.
An hour had passed.
“Just stay with me,” Hughes told me politely.
At one point I snapped at him. He made a joke out of it. We laughed. He kept talking.
After two hours, and two more childish outbursts from me, Hughes eventually got to his point. A few days later, I ended up writing a column about the new Hard Rock Casino Northern Indiana and Hughes’ efforts through the decades to help pave the way for legalized gambling in this region.
That column, which included Hughes’ dealings with Michael Jackson’s family in the mid-1990s, turned out to be one of the mostread columns of this year for me, with readers from across the
Chicago metro area sharing feedback.
Hughes sent me a text after reading it: “Jerry, your story is going to upset a lot of folks, but I was not misquoted and let the truth be the light.”
I replied jokingly, “You see, I was listening and looking at all those photos.”
Nonetheless, after I left Hughes’ office that day, I realized how uncivil I acted with the man who is on a passionate crusade to promote civility in our society. In 2015, Hughes created the concept of a World Civility Day in his city. It has turned into an annual event of recognition, except for last year’s cancellation due to the pandemic.
“Civility, to me, means simply being better towards others,” Hughes said.
“I think an attitude of displaying resentment and animosity toward others manifests itself in others, old and young,” he said. “Our negative demeanor may be contributing to similar impulses in others, which could be contributing in part to the violence we see everywhere in our society.”
I’ve been thinking about his salient point as the Fourth of July holiday approached. Our country is split into two Americas — Democrats versus Republicans, liberals versus conservatives, left versus right, pro-Trump versus anti-Trump. Civility is as common as apologies. This is especially true on social media, where consideration of others is an afterthought. Or a running joke.
I wonder how our Founding Fathers would feel about this glaring lack of common courtesy, social politeness, and mutual respect.
On July 4, 1776, when the Continental Congress approved the Declaration of Independence, those 13 colonies were inhabited by an estimated 2.5 million people. Today, more than 330 million people live in our Divided States of America, all of us caught in the daily crossfire of resentment, animosity and violence, just as Hughes noted.
“It comes down to the Golden Rule,” he said. “You don’t have to be mentally or physically gifted to possess it.”
This year’s World Civility Day is Thursday, July 8. Its title: Community Civility Counts.
“We are excited and delighted to have legislators representing different parties come together to stress the importance of the Golden Rule, and to encourage everyone to exhibit civil behavior in their discourse and in their actions,” Hughes said.
That day, civility-themed workshops will be held at the new Dean and Barbara White Community Center in Merrillville. That evening, an awards dinner and presentation will take place at the nearby Avalon Manor banquet facility, featuring several local and federal officials, including guest presenters U.S. Rep. Frank Mrvan, in person, and U.S. Sen. Todd Young, in a virtual appearance. (For more information or dinner reservations, contact the Gary Chamber at (219) 885-7407 or Hughes at chughes@garychamber.com.)
On Wednesday, the celebration kicks off at Gary City Hall with Gary Mayor Jerome Prince formally proclaiming World Civility Day, joined by Dr. Clyde Rivers, the event’s overseas ambassador, Dr. Gordon Bradshaw, the chamber’s public policy chairman, and of course Hughes, who should write a book on this topic.
“None of us are perfect, but we can make a conscious effort to treat people the way we want to be treated,” he told me. “Treating people right is an acquired taste.”
I should have followed this advice when we met at his office. My impatient rudeness that day has been bothering me ever since. In hindsight, this is how all of us should feel when we don’t treat others with the civility that was once a hallmark of our country.
On this Independence Day, is it possible to seek independence from our anger, our hatred, and our political hostility? Do we have to show our patriotism by being red, white and blue in the face over issues we repeatedly disagree on? Can’t we just be civil to one another for at least one star-spangled day?
“Everyone has the ability to be civil,” Hughes said.