How do you even respond to opposing beliefs?
Seating charts at wedding receptions can be a roulette wheel of good fortune or bad luck, so I felt I hit the jackpot when I sat next to a charming relative of the groom.
He was funny, observant, affable and an engaging storyteller about his life experiences. The other guests at our table were a bit quiet so my instant connection with this guy helped loosen up our table of mostly strangers. I knew only two other guests, the parents of the groom, who welcomed me and my future bride when we first sat down.
Most wedding receptions start out a bit stiff, like a new pair of dress shoes, until they loosen up with polite niceties. An open bar serves up the ideal social lubricant for these gatherings. I don’t drink alcohol so I pounded down my favorite cocktail of risqué jokes and irrelevant observations.
My new pal — who’s in his late 40s and lives in southern Indiana — embraced my poor taste and nonchalant attitude. We laughed easily and loudly inside a ballroom at Blue Chip Casino in Michigan City. By the time our salads arrived, we were yakking it up like two drunken gamblers at a craps table.
As usual, I didn’t hesitate to broach any subject, including politics and religion, though I don’t recall mentioning two names that can divide any room — Donald Trump and Joe Biden. I don’t mind talking in public about our current or former president, but it depends on the situation and the company around me. I never intend to offend anyone or instigate an argument.
My new pal eventually picked up this. In between bites, he grabbed his phone to show me a few photos. I was tempted to grab my phone to share photos of my grandson, who just turned 3. I decided against it, not wanting to seem like a typical grandfather with endless photos of my favorite little human.
“Hey, check out this one,” my pal said with a mischievous smile.
It was a photo of Biden with
a shadow behind him in the shape of a penis. It’s a popular image of mockery for Biden’s conservative critics who believe he’s a real, well, penis. “The shadow knows,” some of those images state.
I looked over to my pal. He beamed a huge smile. I smiled back without saying anything as loud music played from a DJ. It was at this moment that I could have reacted differently than I did, possibly by responding with a frown or smirk or negative comment. I didn’t feel this way, though. I find humor in most everything, politics too.
My sardonic smile conveyed to this guy, “I get it, you think Biden is a (expletive).”
The problem with such a response is that it encourages more of the same from other people, especially Trump-supporting Biden critics. In this case, it encouraged more phone images from my pal that disparaged Biden and his liberal supporters. One of the photos mocked CNN, featuring the popular phrase, “Let’s Go Brandon,” a not-so-secret conservative code for a vulgarity toward Biden.
If you’re unaware of the origin of this phrase, it’s from a NASCAR race when the crowd chanted the vulgarity with Biden’s name and a sports reporter wrongly suggested they were yelling “Let’s go, Brandon” to celebrate the race’s winner, Brandon Brown. Amusing stuff, I say. Just like NASCAR.
My pal chuckled when he showed it to me. I nodded and smiled. Again.
I was tempted to share with him one of my favorite images of Trump, from last year when he kissed and caressed an American flag with a dopey look on his face. Trump viewed it as a form of patriotism. I viewed it as a form of idiocy. The image is priceless in my book of politics.
But I didn’t want to waste time searching for silly photos on my phone, of any kind. Not because of politics but because of context. I should be enjoying the event, celebrating the nuptials of good friends. Also, my date was more important to me than viewing these silly images. My new pal may have felt the same way if he attended the reception with a date. Or maybe not.
Either way, I didn’t say anything to him about his photos. I didn’t have to. I turned the other direction and asked my lady if she wanted to get our photo taken at the photo booth near the bar. We jumped up and left the ballroom for a few minutes. It was a convenient excuse to not see any more photos I didn’t care about. The photo booth fun was much more entertaining. So was the dessert table, which I had been eyeing since I entered the ballroom.
While stashing a couple of cupcakes for later that night, I wondered how other people handle similar situations with people who have opposing political beliefs. Do you bite your tongue? Do you say something in a passive-aggressive tone? Do you engage in a heated debate? Do you make a scene? I don’t.
It all comes down to my time and how I want to spend it. The older I get, nothing else much matters. Not Biden. Not Trump. Not politics. And certainly not silly politically charged photos. I’m not wedded to that stuff like many Americans seem to be.
My new pal probably figured this out without me having to say one word. When he left to help his mother exit the ballroom, we shook hands and said goodbye. If we ever meet again, I honestly look forward to talking with him. He was fun, and funny.
Although most liberals and conservatives have gotten divorced in our country, we shouldn’t let our irreconcilable differences over politics sabotage a good time. Or a new friendship. It’s worth the gamble.