Trust your gut and break ties with that unnerving client

Dear Miss Manners: I am a “one-woman band” with a small plant nursery business. A professional relationship has quickly turned icky, but turning away business isn’t a great option for me.

I had been working with this man for about a month when he showed up one day “just to talk” and get to know me. He probed for personal information. I let him know only professional information, but also dropped my husband’s name quite often, which he mirrored by saying how great his son is over and over.

I did tell him “This feels rather unprofessional,” and he exited soon after — but not until he tried to get me on a boat with him (I refused nicely), told me how much money he makes, what a great guy he is, that his wife is not nice and is dying of breast cancer, that he breeds dogs part-time, and other irrelevancies. So many red flags!

After a few days, I was still a bit unnerved with this odd behavior, and I did a public search. Come to find out, this man and his son are BOTH convicted sexual predators whose mutual victim was less than 16 years of age. Now I’m quite sick and my head is spinning.

I really need the business, but I don’t need the “ick factor.” My husband has signed me up for a gun permit (sigh) since I am often at the nursery till midnight or 1 a.m. watering and weeding.

Should I just act like I know nothing, while keeping this nasty, immoral human scum at arm’s length? Or should I break all professional ties with him?

Gentle reader: Surely the damage your business — or safety — could suffer from being associated with a convicted criminal is greater than that of losing a client. Miss Manners hopes that you will consider this and break ties. And further emphasize your point by sticking to daylight and business hours.

Dear Miss Manners: Where should I park my shopping cart while choosing items and/or reading labels for contents? I leave my cart in the middle of the aisle, thereby allowing other shoppers to look at the same items, and I step out of the way to allow passersby through.

I believe other shoppers feel hurried when I wait for them to finish shopping a section with their cart, as we cannot both do so at once. I know that I feel hurried being in that same position. My husband maintains that leaving the cart in the middle of the aisle is rude, and that I should stay with my cart.

Gentle reader: Without venturing to guess who does most of the family shopping — or who can reach items on the top shelf without assistance — Miss Manners will simply agree with you that being with the cart every second is not possible.

She agrees with your husband, however, that leaving it in the middle of the aisle gives an appearance of thoughtless abandon. If you will promise to park it to one side — and not anywhere for long — Miss Manners will agree to remind other customers that it is not a major inconvenience if they have to ask you to move forward so that they can get to the canned peas.

Dear Miss Manners: My friend Henrietta, a bit of a snob, doesn’t own a car and often requests a ride into town. This is fine, but she always has me drop her a few blocks from our main square, saying she “could use a bit of a walk.”

She does this even when it’s raining, and sometimes involves an awkward stop on busy roads. I’ve learned that she doesn’t do this with her more upscale friends, and I suspect she doesn’t want to be seen with me or alighting from my old economy car. I’m a little hurt and am wanting to confront her on this.

Gentle reader: Fulfilling as it would be to change your friend’s behavior, confronting her about it is unlikely to accomplish more than embarrassing both of you. If you really want to get even, Miss Manners recommends you continue to oblige her requests to be dropped off in the rain, which will leave her cold and wet — ample punishment for her crime.

Dear Miss Manners: Iam enrolled in a yoga course for which payment is normally $10 per class. When COVID hit, the instructor changed to doing the class via videoconference. Should I try to compensate her for her time?

Gentle reader: Yes. You are still receiving a service, although Miss Manners ventures no opinion about whether the service, and therefore the price, is identical.