Readers offer tactics to stick to resolutions

Dear Readers: By this time of year, many of us have tried — and already discarded — our New Year’s resolutions.

In the spirit of making, keeping or restarting these resolutions, I’m devoting this column to reader responses to a recent question from “Unresolved” about the challenge of maintaining resolutions.

Dear Amy: The only resolution I truly kept was to discard one item every week, after downsizing from a home to a condo.

So easy! So liberating! It cured me of needing to hold on to “stuff.”

— Gloria, in Grand Rapids, Michigan

Dear Amy: Why are we so stuck on Jan. 1 as the day all resolutions must begin?

It’s hard to get moving in the dead of winter. Instead, look at the spring equinox as your starting point for new goals, and spend the winter reflecting on old habits, shedding the ones that don’t work for you anymore, and thinking of ways to improve your life. Spring has always felt like the start of a new year to me, anyway.

— Alli

Dear Amy: Never make a New Year’s resolution. Wait until April 1, because then if you fail, you are only making a fool of yourself.

On April 1, 1980, I resolved to stop smoking cigarettes. I haven’t smoked one since.

The only resolution I ever made worked.

— No Cigs in Virginia Dear Amy: It is OK to make “fun” resolutions, too!

One year I resolved to try a new kind of cheese every month. I didn’t make it through 12 new cheeses, but thinking about the six or seven new ones I did try still makes me smile!

— A Friend

Dear Amy: I think we are our own worst critics. Negative reinforcement produces the least longterm behavior change, while doing damage to our self-esteem, which is pretty demotivating.

Positive reinforcement, kindness to ourselves and being our own cheerleader is key. That, along with living with enthusiasm (fake it until it sticks), have helped to bring me to my most productive periods of self-improvement.

— Sharing Helps

Dear Amy: Do it with a friend. Last year, I resolved to call a long-distance friend at least once a month. We decided to take turns calling every month.

We kept our resolution and are continuing it this year. It has been wonderful for our long friendship.

— Gabby

Dear Amy: After I exclaimed my distress at not being able to keep my own resolutions, my friend asked me, “Who is the boss of you?” Um, me? Yup!

I’ve learned that I am the boss of my personal goals, and if I don’t honor myself by putting effort into the things I want to accomplish, then who will? — The Boss

Dear Amy: At age 62, I quit smoking after several decades of trying.

What was different? I finally truly thought of myself as a nonsmoker.

Previously, I felt like I was a smoker trying to stay away from cigarettes.

“Unresolved” needs to really believe that they are what it is they are trying to accomplish.

It made all the difference for me.

— Kathy

Dear Amy: One thing that’s helped me with resolutions for walking/running: No matter how wretched I feel each morning, I put on my shoes and walk for five minutes. After that, if I’m still not feeling it, I go home and back to bed. (But usually, just a few minutes is all it takes to affirm that I’m on the right path.)

— Kim in Cary, NC

Dear Amy: My advice is to forget resolutions, forget goals. Use mottos instead!

The easier to remember, the more likely to come to mind. Mine for the last few years have been quite successful: Less stress! Less clutter! More creating!

— David

Dear Amy: My stepfather never asked what our resolutions were — he asked what we wanted to take with us into the new year.

He passed away last month but left a legacy of hope, positivity and love. This year I want to take his hope and positivity into the new year with me. — Rebecca G

Dear Rebecca: This is a wonderful and worthy resolution.