Reconsider hollering approach

Please help me understand the polite way to deal with a communication issue with my husband. I feel like he tries to exert dominance over me when he engages me in conversation.

When I’m in another part of the house, he will call something out to me from another room. In order to hear and understand him, I have to stop what I’m doing (even if it’s just eating bonbons and scrolling through social media) and go to the room he’s in.

This is constant. If I’m washing pots and pans with the water running, and he tries to tell me something, I have to stop washing and turn off the water to hear him and reply.

DEAR MISS MANNERS >> What is the proper etiquette concerning funeral flowers?

Sadly, my sister-in-law was a victim of the COVID pandemic. We ordered the finest flowers we could afford (NOT cheap!), and were glad to see the flowers we ordered at the funeral.

We were all masked and distanced, so my view was from way back. At the end of the service, before I had a chance to get a closer look at all the flowers, the arrangement we purchased was mysteriously

GONE!

My husband told me that my sisterin-law’s widower told people they could take the flowers.

I don’t know if someone asked about taking them, or if he made an announcement that they could do so.

I think it is very tacky to take flowers from a funeral. I’m just thankful that my husband was able to see all of the arrangements early, and noticed that my workplace sent flowers, so I knew to express my appreciation to them.

Apparently, this is not a new phenomenon. I recall when my grandmother died, my mother was very upset that my niece swooped down and took ALL of the flowers from the service.

I had thought it was an isolated incident by bad actors.

If the flowers are offered, it is not impolite for guests to accept. The presumption is that they are better off giving enjoyment to others than wilting at the funeral home.

But you are correct that they should not be absconded with sans permission. And even with permission, Miss Manners adds, a reasonable amount of time — say, the length of the funeral — should pass before the offer is acted upon.

We moved into a new neighborhood, and have quickly grown to like our nextdoor neighbors. My husband has conversed with the wife on many occasions, and until recently, their conversations had been nothing but lovely.

However, she started strongly hinting that my husband should buy me a gift from her health, beauty and home furnishings catalog.

We are firmly opposed to multilevel marketing companies as a whole, but we really value the budding friendship. How can we gently but permanently let her know we are not interested, while indicating we would like to continue to grow our friendship?

“Oh, thank you, but we make it a practice to not mix business with pleasure. It can have dastardly results, and we do so value this new friendship.” If said correctly, Miss Manners notes, it will only have the faintest hint of a neighborly threat.

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