She's sick of hearing friends' skepticism about returned ex
My husband and I were married nine years. He unexpectedly left me when COVID-19 hit. We were apart for a year and eight months and ended up divorcing. I filed because, even though I didn't want to believe it, I eventually accepted that it was over. Even though he hadn't actually filed the papers, he had taken all other necessary steps. It was the first time in my life I had ever felt this level of heartbreak.
After time passed, he reached out and wanted to reconcile. We've been back together ever since, and he has asked me to get remarried. I happily agreed because he has been in therapy and made amazing changes.
My friends have mixed feelings about our remarrying. They saw how devastated I was when he left and how hard I worked to pick myself up and start over. We didn't have a wedding our first time, so this time we are planning to have one. The date is set and the venue is booked. I have all these feelings of excitement, but it's hard to share them because they get dismissed or there's a snide comment from my friends.
They were there for me when we split up, and I understand their hesitation. They don't want me hurt again. But it's starting to hurt my feelings and makes me question if having a wedding is advisable.
— Happy but Conflicted
DEAR HAPPY BUT CONFLICTED ❯❯ The date is set, the venue is booked and you are happy. The next time any of your friends makes a sarcastic comment, tell them you don't appreciate it and you aren't going to change your plans. Tell them they are on the guest list, but if they can't attend your wedding and wish you a happy future, they're free to send their regrets. They may be protective, but at this point, they need to ease up on their resentment and give you both a chance to start over.
One of my dear friends is Christian. She knows I'm Jewish. I don't expect her to acknowledge many of the Jewish holidays because I'm sure she's unfamiliar with them. However, Hanukkah is ubiquitous, and it would be nice if she would wish me a “Happy Hanukkah.”
Every year, she wishes me a “Merry Christmas,” buys me a Christmas gift and a Christmas card. She's a truly nice person, and I don't think she's deliberately being dismissive or insensitive. I have mentioned this to her several times over the years, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. Without insulting her or seeming ungrateful, how can I let her know this bothers me?
— Observant in Ohio
If she's a dear friend, she's not likely trying to upset you. A month before the beginning of Hanukkah this year, “remind” her that you do not celebrate the Christian holiday of Christmas. It should allow her enough time to find a suitable card for you. If she forgets after that, do not exile her into the wilderness, but forgive her.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
HARDCOVER FICTION 1. Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow:
Gabrielle Zevin
2. Demon Copperhead:
Barbara Kingsolver
Abraham Verghese
Bonnie Garmus
3. The Covenant of Water:
4. Lessons in Chemistry:
5. The Making of Another Major Motion Picture Masterpiece:
6. Happy Place:
7. The Guest: Emma Cline
8. Yellowface: R.F. 9. Hello Beautiful: 10. Before the Coffee Gets Cold:
HARDCOVER NONFICTION
1. The Creative Act: A Way of Being:
2. The Wager: A Tale of Shipwreck, Mutiny and Murder:
3. The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse:
The biography “King: A LIfe,” by Jonathan Eig, is among the top-selling nonfiction releases at Southern California's independent bookstores.
4. I'm Glad My Mom Died:
5. King: A Life: 6. Poverty, by America: 7. Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones:
8. Walking With Sam: A Father, a Son, and Five Hundred Miles Across Spain:
9. Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity: 10. Palo Alto: A History of California, Capitalism, and the World:
Harris 9. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings:
Henry
Kuang
Napolitano
Kawaguchi
Rubin
Tom Hanks Emily
Toshikazu
David Grann
Charlie Mackesy
Ann
Rick
Eig
Jennette McCurdy Jonathan
Matthew Desmond
Clear
James
Andrew McCarthy
Peter Attia, M.D.; Bill Gifford
Malcolm
Ray Bradbury
Ray Bradbury George Orwell
Brandon Sanderson
Angelou
Agatha Christie
Coelho
Schwab
Maya
Hernan Diaz
Jenkins Reid
Matt Haig
Taylor
Richard Osman
TJ Klune
10. And Then There Were None:
TRADE PAPERBACK FICTION
1. Trust:
2. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo: 3. The Midnight Library: 4. The Alchemist: 5. The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue: V.E.
6. The Thursday Murder Club:
7. The House in the Cerulean Sea:
8. The Candy House:
Paulo
Jennifer Egan Colleen Hoover
9. Verity:
10. The Last Thing He Told Me:
Laura Dave