★ BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity

Ruth Whippman. Harmony, $28 (320p) ISBN 978-0-593-57763-9

Journalist Whippman (America the Anxious), the mother of three young sons, explores in this captivating work of cultural criticism how masculine norms deprive boys of connection. Interweaving personal anecdotes and reporting, Whippman discusses struggling to find books, movies, or other media about emotionally attuned male characters that would encourage her sons to “see themselves as... relational beings.” This dearth leads to disconnection, Whippman argues, citing her interviews with adolescent boys who reported wanting “more emotionally focused connections with friends” despite having “no real idea how to go about it.” Whippman’s deep dive into the state of modern boyhood serves up fascinating dispatches from a Manhattan all-boys’ prep school trying to stamp out toxic masculinity, a Utah residential therapy program aiming to instill “the values of traditional manhood” in participants, and a conference for an advocacy organization that defends young men accused of campus sexual assault. Whippman’s trenchant analysis explains without excusing some of the worst excesses of patriarchy, as when she concludes after interviewing incels (a group of “superonline” young men who feel entitled to sex) that they represent a toxic mixture of misogyny and a “lack of nurturing for young boys” that drives them to seek community in the “manosphere.” It’s an urgent call to reassess how boys are raised and socialized. Agent: Steve Ross, Steve Ross Agency. (June) abuse. She assumed that her eldest son, Luka, was going through the normal pangs of adolescence when he became withdrawn around his 13th birthday, but over the next two years he started lashing out at teachers and family and self-medicating with painkillers and alcohol, leaving Kuzmic feeling helpless and searching for answers. Recalling her agonizing attempts to get professional help for Luka, who was eventually diagnosed with clinical depression, ADHD, and generalized anxiety disorder, Kuzmic discusses pained conversations about her son’s suicidal ideation during joint therapy sessions and the difficult decision to temporarily place him in a residential care facility after a violent outburst. Kuzmic’s candid reflections plumb the intricacies of parent-child relationships, as when she describes realizing that her tendency to view Luka’s problems as a negative reflection on her parenting was hampering her ability to “genuinely listen and empathize.” A poignant concluding chapter written by Luka explains his mental health struggles in frank detail (“I took out my anger on the people I love the most because I knew they wouldn’t leave me”), before arriving at the hopeful conclusion: “Life gets better, but we have to put in the work.” Readers will be moved. Agent: Anna Sproul-Latimer, Neon Literary. (May)