Random Lengths News

Mickey Mouse Should Flee Florida

- By Jacob Pickering

June 2022 is going to be must-watch TV for all patriotic, anti-Vladimir Putin Americans. At this point, there should be no question about it whatsoever, but in case you still had any doubts at all about deranged, demonic Donald Trump’s terrible, treasonous and terroristi­c transgress­ions against our democratic republic, stay tuned to your TV sets starting June 9. Expect Ted Cruz (R-TX) to attempt to flee to Cancun again for a summer vacation. Hasta la vista, racist baby!

Republican Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, the delusional dimwit who actually believes America wants its next president to be a bookburnin­g fascist who is so weak and wimpy that he’s terrified of transgende­r people, won the governorsh­ip in 2018 by only 30,000 votes. The Disney Corporatio­n employs 80,000 Floridians. You do the math! Best of luck running for president in 2024, Ron the con, after Florida

“I love the Bay just like I love LA”

— Snoop Dogg (from Katy Perry’s California Gurls released in 2010)

votes you out in 2022.

And by the way, current Florida racist Republican resident and failed fascist Fuhrer Donald Trump is 100% guilty of not only treason but pandemicid­e! Strap Trump the traitor into Florida’s electric chair Old Sparky and fry that Leningrad liar until all that’s left is a burnt pile of blubbery grisly goo! (As opposed to the blubbering pile of Greedy Old Perverted G.O.P. goo that Trump was in life.)

If any state should be known as “the free state” in this “United” States of America, it is my home state of California. After all, one out of every eight Americans is a California resident for a reason! (A multitude of reasons, really.) An idea whose time has come that is worthy of the Golden State and its internatio­nally successful California-born Disney Corporatio­n is DISNEY


If necessary, the California crew of Mouseketee­rs will move every last piece of Disney World (including Epcot Center) back home from Orlando to California in the dead of night, just like the Mayflower movers surreptiti­ously relocated the NFL’s Colts franchise from Baltimore to Indianapol­is back in 1984. Except no one will feel sorry for FL.

Gov. DeSantis (R-FL) is a disgrace! If you keep Ron DeathSanti­s in office, Florida, we California­ns will be taking Disney back ASAP. Just saying. You don’t have to like it. We’ll do it anyways. Or if not California, there’s always the possibilit­y of getting Mickey Mouse mountain high in Colorado! John Denver (R.I.P.) would no doubt approve were he alive.

Diminutive dolt Ron DeSatanist (R-FL) says to anyone who will listen that he is no fan of democracy. No, Ron the con is a classic crackpot Castro Cuban conservati­ve. Just put a fake beard on his fascist face, a stogie between his lying lips, and some fatigues on his five-foot frame and Gov. DeSantis would look — and act — just like a mini-Fidel Castro.

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