UUBRidge holds welcoming service for LGBTQQ persons
The theme of the April 24 Sunday service of Unitarian Universalists of the Blue Ridge (UUBRidge) will be “Making Our Congregations and Community Welcoming to LGBTQQ Persons.”
UUBRidge will hold the service at Hearthstone School, 11576 Lee Highway, Sperryville, followed by a panel discussion.
LGBTQQ, which stands for “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning,” is a term that has evolved in an attempt to include all individuals whose sexual orientation or gender identity doesn’t fit within the “norm.” That norm has been stretched by a growing body of scientific evidence that sexual orientation and gender identity run across a broad spectrum rather than neatly falling into a couple of pigeonholes. Overlaid on all this are societal mores, taboos and myths about human sexuality.
Some secular and religious groups, often moving across sectarian boundaries, are striving to provide a welcoming space in communities for everyone, no matter their sexual orientation or gender identity. “Unitarian Universalists have been in the forefront of the movement to protect the rights of the LGBTQQ community for many years,” says UUBRidge minister Russ Savage, and “other progressive faith traditions have joined in this movement.”
The Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA) got involved in welcoming people in the LGBTQQ community, under the banner of its Welcoming Congregation Program, 25 years ago, according to UUA’s website (uua.org/lgbtq/welcoming/program):
“For 25 years we have worked hard to make sure lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people are full members of our faith communities. Being welcoming means striving for radical inclusion, and creating spaces that honor every part of our identities, backgrounds and experiences.”
The word “welcoming” is “a code word of sorts,” the website explains. “It has become known as referring specifically to religious spaces that are accepting of people who are [LGBTQQ] because religion has been such a fraught environment for sexual and gender minorities.”
Savage acknowledges that “some faith traditions understand these matters differently and hold more conservative positions.”
UUBRidge started its own Welcoming Congregation Program two years ago, says Flint Hill resident Karen Allen, the chair of the committee that oversees it. The congregation did this because, while “we may have marriage equality” after the recent Supreme Court decision on the right of lesbian and gay couples to marry, “in terms of politics and law regarding LGBTQQ issues, the job is not yet complete,” she says.
Licensed psychotherapist and certified sex therapist Shellie Selove will give the sermon at the April 24 service and moderate a panel discus- sion afterward. She is highly qualified for the role, according to Allen, because of Selove’s 24 years of experience in private practice, specializing in sexual issues and autism spectrum disorders. With her husband, Ramon Selove, she has also presented workshops on these issues.
Even for people who support gender equality, navigating language used by and about LGBTQQ individuals can present a challenge for anyone, even those sympathetic to people in that community, Selove said. Some terms, while helping in providing a shortcut to discussing gender-identity issues, can also be hurtful when used as labels, treating people as objects rather than as the complex human beings they are, she added.
UUA, on its website, encourages its congregations to “use language that reflects . . . labels or words a person or group uses for their identities and experiences rather than making assumptions, and always respecting the language a person uses to self-identify.”
The panel discussion, “Everything You Wanted to Know about LGBTQQ and Were Afraid to Ask,” will include people from the LGBTQQ community. They are “very courageous, very gracious” in sharing what it’s like being a member of that community from the inside and “the difficulty of being on that continuum in a rural community,” Selove said. In moderating the panel, she said she intends to create a safe space in which all participants will feel comfortable sharing their experiences, ensuring “it’s a good experience for everybody.”
Having lived in the Shenandoah Valley for about 25 years, Selove said she is familiar with life in rural Vir- ginia. It can have “wonderful attributes,” including being “very calming” and offering opportunities to enjoy nature, she said.
People in rural areas also tend to bond together, offering a sense of community for some, she added. But that doesn’t always hold true for LGBTQQ people. She said clients she’s worked with “may have more difficulty in being authentically who they are in public” in rural areas, where people are “not as progressive” in their attitudes toward people “who are outside the norm” as those in more-urban areas. In large cities, LGBTQQ people are more apt to find communities “where they don’t feel isolated or alone.”
Another issue in small, rural communities, Allen says, is that they often also have fewer resources for providing help to LGBTQQ people, such as support groups.
While “the needs and rights of individuals not to be discriminated against on the basis of their sexual orientation or gender identity are the same in both rural and more-populated areas,” Savage said, “the discussion of these matters should take into account prevailing local attitudes, and should be respectful to all.”
The public is invited to join UUBRidge for the service, which starts at 10:30 a.m., as well as the lunch and panel.
“Anyone who is interested in this subject from any angle would be welcome,” Savage says. “Those who support protecting the rights of the LGBTQQ community would learn about others who are doing this work. Those who are struggling to decide how they feel about these matters will find information which might help them clarify their thinking. All are invited to bring their questions.”
For more information, go to uubridge.wildwoodweb.com