A Day’s Work
MANUFACTURERS often give shower curtains ethereal names such as Anastasia, Summer Mist, and even Cambridge. One day, a customer walked into our home-furnishings store while I was inputting an order for shower curtains. “Excuse me,” he said. “Do you have Sunday Hours?”
I looked up from my computer and said, “Can you tell me what the pattern looks like?”
“Let me rephrase,” he said. “Are you open on Sundays?”
PETE HOELSCHER, Vancouver, Washington MY ULTRASOUND technician told me about a colleague’s patient.
Her doctor had told her she might be having twins, and the young mother-to-be seemed anxious. But at the exam, the technician assured her, “You’re not having twins. There’s only one baby in there.”
The young woman sighed with relief. “Oh, thank God,” she said. “I really don’t think I could have stood being pregnant for 18 months.”
KAREN PELHAM O’STEEN, Laurel, Maryland
A FRIEND’S SON worked at a fastfood restaurant. One night while he was manning the drive-through, a customer told him that the intercom wasn’t working properly. My friend’s son went about filling the order while a female coworker fiddled with the intercom. She asked, “Is that OK now?”
“Well, no,” the customer said.
“Now you sound like a girl.”
FIVE QUOTES FROM BOSSES that will leave you thinking, Hey, I can be a boss too!
■ “We’re going to treat this as being required but not mandatory.” (From an office in Chicago)
■ “Wait, is the Internet on?” (From an office in Bethesda, Maryland)
■ “We’ll hit that bridge when we come to it.” (From an office in London)
■ “Don’t send information; it just confuses me.” (From an office in Columbus, Ohio)
■ “It’s one of those chickenbefore-the-horse things.” (From an office in Seattle)
AFTER PHOTOGRAPHING my client for a few minutes, I felt compelled to stop shooting and say, “I gotta tell ya, that’s a great smile you have.”
Beaming, he said, “Thanks. I got it for my birthday.”
BEVERLY GUHL, Austin, Texas SCENE: A sixth-grade class
Teacher: What are the harmful environmental effects of oil on fish?
Student: When my mom opened a can of sardines last night, it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead.
“We have to move out—i just sold a painting.”