SURVIVING WITH THE FAMILY

31. DON’T LET A SQUABBLE GET

OUT OF HAND According to family therapist Hal Runkel, the word ouch can stop an argument in its tracks. Say, “Ouch. That one hurt. I don’t know whether you were meaning to hurt me, but that’s what you did,” Runkel tells Business Insider Australia. This wake-up call can get you back to the core issue and away from hurtful territory.

32. DO SUGGEST WAYS TO HELP

Everyone has one relative who never pitches in. Give Uncle Lazybones the benefit of the doubt and assume he doesn’t know how to help—then offer suggestions. For example, “Uncle, I’ll leave the laundry detergent on top of the washer should you need it.”

33. DON’T GET INTO IT WITH ADULT

CHILDREN Whether they’ve been out of the house for five years or fifty, trust adult children to make their own decisions, even if you disagree. Comments about your children’s parenting strategies or how they split their holiday time with their spouses’ families can be especially sensitive.

34. DO SKIP A LITTLE OF THE FUN

One study by consumer behaviorists found that interrupting a pleasant experience with a less pleasant one can intensify a person’s overall enjoyment. Tackle one annoying task— such as starting your taxes—and the contrast will remind you how special vacation time with the family can be.