All in a Day’s Work

Reader's Digest - - Contents -

AN UT­TERLY CON­FUSED woman called our lo­cal fire sta­tion about get­ting a hair­cut.

“I’m sorry, you have the wrong num­ber,” I said.

“Is this the sa­lon near the fire sta­tion?” she asked.

“No, this is the fire sta­tion.” “Oh! Are you cut­ting hair in there now?” KAREN STRAND, Lacey, Wash­ing­ton

“YES­TER­DAY WAS my 18th birth­day!” a cus­tomer said af­ter walk­ing into our con­ve­nience store. He then asked for some e-cig­a­rette prod­ucts and handed me his ID to prove he

was in­deed of age. I scanned the ID, but it came back ex­pired. Now thor­oughly de­flated, he asked, “Does that mean I’m not 18?”

DAVID HANSEN, Des Moines, Iowa

A CUS­TOMER walked into the post of­fice want­ing to mail a pack­age. “Two-day ship­ping will cost $12.95 to get it there by Fri­day,” my co­worker Billy told her.

The cus­tomer, clearly look­ing to save a few bucks, said, “The pack­age doesn’t have to get there till Satur­day. Is there any way to make that hap­pen?”

Billy nod­ded. “Sure. You can bring it back tomorrow.”

DAVID CUTCHER, Royal Palm Beach, Florida

SWIM­MING COACHES share the most in­fu­ri­at­ing ex­cuses they’ve heard for miss­ing prac­tice:

■ “I had a swim­mer tell me he missed prac­tice be­cause of bad dreams.”

■ “The swim­mer was too full from the trip we coaches took them on to the Cheese­cake Factory.”

■ “‘Sorry I couldn’t make prac­tice. I had to break up with my girlfriend on Skype.’ ”

■ “I had a swim­mer, in the mid­dle of win­ter, wipe out on his bike on his way to early-morn­ing prac­tice be­cause it was too slip­pery. When I asked why he rode his bike in the snow, he ad­mit­ted it was to hope­fully wipe out and not be able to prac­tice.”

Source: Swim­ming World TEACH­ING IS NOT for sen­si­tive souls. While re­view­ing fu­ture, past, and present tenses with my English class, I posed this ques­tion: “‘I am beau­ti­ful’ is what tense?”

One stu­dent raised her hand. “Past tense.”

REEMA RA­HAT, in Reader’s Di­gest In­ter­na­tional Edi­tion

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