Laughter, the Best Medicine
THE BEST MEDICINE
A POODLE AND A COLLIE are walking down the street when the poodle suddenly confides to his friend. “My life is a mess,” he says. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend is having an affair with a German shepherd, and I’m as nervous as a hamster.”
“Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist,” suggests the collie. “I can’t,” says the poodle. “I’m not allowed on the couch.”
Source: gundogmag.com
THERE’S A GUY IN TOWN who walks around talking to himself using only figurative language. We call him the Village Idiom.
Submitted by ALBERT SLOAN, Morris, Illinois
AUTOCORRECT can go straight to he’ll.
Submitted by CONSTANCE NORMANDEAU, Colebrook, Connecticut
THREE TERRIBLE JOKES you won’t forget no matter how hard you try (and you will try) ...
Ed: I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday.
Fred: How bad is it?
Ed: Not only is it awful, it’s awful.
Q: Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?
A: He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.
Hiring manager: And where do you see yourself in two years? Candidate: Jeez, I don’t know. Do I look like I have 2020 vision?
A NORTH KOREAN defector moves in to an apartment in Chicago, and his new neighbor asks what his apartment back home was like.
“Oh, it was perfect,” the defector says. “I could not complain.”
“What about your job?”
“Oh, my old job was perfect. I could not complain.”
“And the food?”
“Oh, the food was perfect. I could not complain.”
“So if everything was perfect in North Korea, why did you move?”
The man says, “Here I can complain.”
Source: humoropedia.com WILL I UNDERSTAND the sisteen chapel if I have not seen chapels one through fisteen? @TROJANSAUCE
TWO MEN ARE HIKING through the woods when one of them cries out, “Snake! Run!”
His companion laughs at him. “Oh, relax. It’s only a baby,” he says. “Don’t you hear the rattle?”
Submitted by STEVE SMITH, New York, New York
HEY, nice try, people named Tristan. Or should I say, Stan Stan Stan.
@GROWLYGREGO
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