A Lodging Establishment Got Its Five Stars the Hard Way

“As far as jails go, this is the crème de la crème. First off, you don’t even need a ride here. They pick you up from anywhere in the county. Sometimes they even get you out of bed and bring you, and it’s all free of charge.”

Yelp.com is one of many opinion machines that publish crowdsourced reviews of restaurants, hotels, and more. This writer was moved to satirize the form with a five-star shout-out to an unlikely resort: California’s Santa Rita Jail.