I did some research, and it turns out I’m super Irish. Even my blood type is O apostrophe.

To the guy who stole my antidepressants: I hope you’re happy now. —Submitted by

Dan Cusato Tustin, California

The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work long, hard hours. The blacksmith instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil, and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.”

The apprentice did just as he was told. Now he’s the village blacksmith. —valleybugler.com

Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were dining in New York. Ginger was resplendent in a ball gown and pearls, and Fred also sported evening wear. But the meal was marred when the waiter bringing their desserts tripped and covered Fred from head to toe in treacle sponge.

“I’m terribly sorry,” said the waiter.

“So you should be,” replied Fred. “Thanks to you, I’ve pudding on my top hat, pudding on my white tie, pudding on my tails.” —Submitted by

George Kloss Oklahoma City, Oklahoma I went to the doctor and he said, “You’ve got hypochondria.” I said, “Not that as well!” —Tim Vine, comedian Got a funny joke?

It could be worth $$$. For details, go to rd.com/submit.