DUMB BOSSES

After two days of heated wrangling, we got one of our vendors to agree to a 35 percent discount. As we were about to sign the contract, my boss, who had not been a party to the negotiations, walked in and tore it up, saying, “I’m going to teach you

purchasing people how to play hardball. That’s the way you make it in this world.” He turned to the vendor’s sales rep and said, “We want a 20 percent discount; take it or leave it.”

The delighted rep immediately agreed. As my boss left, he said to us, “I hope you learned something from that.” —inc.com

When corporate came to visit, the CEO complimented me by saying, “You aren’t as dumb as HR made you out to be.” —pleasefireme.tumblr.com My boss heard there was an opening for a plant manager in our South American facility. To better prepare himself, he decided to attend Spanish classes on the company’s time and at its expense. The only problem? The plant is in Brazil, where they speak Portuguese. —cbsnews.com My boss used to tell me and another coworker he hadn’t showered in days and wanted us to make sure clients didn’t get close to him at events. —cosmopolitan.com

I work for a family-owned check-cashing company. One day, I was robbed at gunpoint. The next day, the owners deducted the stolen cash from my paycheck. They said I had willingly complied with the robber’s wishes. —cbsnews.com

My boss ate all the breading off of three pieces of leftover fried chicken I’d brought to work for lunch, and then he put the naked chicken back into the break-room fridge like nothing happened.

— @Ryanlostintx

Inspirational quotes from the men and women who lead us during the workweek:

✦ I know my plan won’t work, but don’t disagree with me in front of others.

✦ If you are on schedule, then your plan was not aggressive enough. If you are behind schedule, you must be goofing off.

✦ What this department lacks is leadership.

✦ Bonuses in my department are awarded to team players who have demonstrated an appreciation for my leadership.

✦ I tried to e-mail you to tell you that my e-mail wasn’t working, but my e-mail wasn’t working. —inc.com

I got a citation in my employee file because I told my boss that Bob Marley did not sing “Red Red Wine.”

— @daberhasher