Reader's Digest

All in a Day’s Work

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The printer was broken, and no one could figure out whose fault it was. After arguing back and forth, our supervisor took charge.

“Look,” he said,

“we really don’t need to determine who is responsibl­e for this mess. We just want someone to take the blame.” —Robert Rapp Spokane, Washington

Scene: An office employee #1: I want to start reading more books. employee #2: Didn’t you just read yesterday? —ove rheardinth­eoffice.com

A fellow commuter walked onto the train while talking on the phone to his mother. From what I could glean, he was trying to end the conversati­on, but she wasn’t having it. I say that because the man finally declared in a loud, exasperate­d voice, “No, I don’t want to talk to the dog!” —Jennifer Pauly Croton-on-hudson,

New York

“Wait, not yet! I still have 37 sick days left!”

There’s this story about a guy that was hanging around the circus, watching another guy picking up elephant dung and moving it over into a pile. It was hot and sweaty work, but he’d go back and pick up another pile, then another pile. Finally the first guy said, “Man, why don’t you get you a real job?”

And the elephantdu­ng guy said, “What, and quit show business?” —Willie nelson, When asked on npr What keeps him performing at age 85

I was in the emergency room when a young male nurse came in to ask routine medical questions.

Nurse: Have you ever had a hysterecto­my? Me: Yes.

Nurse: When?

Me: 2011.

Nurse: Do you think you could be pregnant?

Me: Do you think this is the right career for you?

—rachelle Karman Albuquerqu­e, New Mexico

Tip-jar humor in our local coffee shop: “Afraid of Change? Leave It Here.” —Paula Hassler Tempe, Arizona

The boss is so allergic to admitting an error that soon he’ll claim that he didn’t mistype thanks and that htanks is a greeting in Norway. —meetingboy.com

The girl I babysit has made me watch Wall-e at least ten times, so I assumed it was her favorite movie. Today, her mom told me that she watches it because she thinks it’s mine. — @Maddiepool­ee

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