Life in These United States
My great-aunt looked confused when I told her that my daughter was 18 months old. “Oh,” she said. “I thought she was a year and a half.”
“But Aunt Marie," I said, “18 months and a year and a half are the same.”
She shrugged. “What do I know? I never had kids.”
—Joel Brill Northridge, California
Sorry, I wasn’t listening when you were talking about your dog. I was busy looking in my phone for a picture of my superior dog. —twitter@primawesome
Our doctor’s office called to let my husband know that the results from his blood tests came back and he was just fine. That didn’t suit my husband.
“What’s my cholesterol level?” he asked.
“Mr. Crocker, you are just fine,” insisted the nurse.
“Still, I’d like you to mail me the results.”
A few days later, he
“... and these are some of the books I would have read if the Internet had never been invented.”
received a postcard from the doctor’s office. It read, “Mr. Crocker, you are just fine!” —Cathy Crocker Fort Worth, Texas
Living in rural Minnesota, I find driving through crowded Minneapolis difficult. “I have trouble figuring out when to turn and what lane to be in,” I complained to my grandson.
His wife could commiserate. “I know what you mean,” she said. “I never know at which cornfield to turn when we come to visit you.”
—Janet Krogfus Granite Falls, Minnesota
My snack got lost in my purse, so I guess I’m on a diet now. —twitter@msgwenl
On a Facebook page for beginning artists, one asked, “Any suggestions for painting dogs?” Another responded, “Wait till they’re asleep.” —Lynette Combs Norfolk, Virginia