Laughter, the Best Medicine

An Uber is cruising down a boulevard when it runs a red light. “Hey!” the passenger shouts. “Be careful!”

“Don’t worry,” says the driver. “My brother does it all the time.”

He barrels through the next red light, and the passenger screams, “Stop doing that!”

“I’m telling you, my brother does this all the time.”

They approach the next light. Just when it turns green, the driver slams on the brakes. The confused passenger asks, “You just ran two red lights; why’d you stop at a green?”

“I had to,” says the driver. “My brother might have been coming.” —Submitted by

David Masella Kissimmee, Florida

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting! —Stewart Francis, comedian

I told you I’ll be there in five minutes. Stop calling me every half hour! —twitter@thejustin

Duncan

If you can sit quietly after difficult news; if in financial downturns you remain perfectly calm; if you can see your neighbors travel to fantastic places without a twinge of jealousy; if you can eat happily whatever is put on your plate; if you can fall asleep after a

“I’m old-school. Instead of ranting on social media, I just scream in people’s faces.”

day of running around without a drink or a pill; if you can always find contentment just where you are—you are probably a dog. —Jack Kornfield, author

“Let’s make vacations less fun.”—hotels that put scales in the bathrooms —twitter@michelleisawolf

“Dear, if you’ll make the toast and pour the juice,” said the newlywed bride, “breakfast will be ready.”

“Good! What are we having for breakfast?” asked the new husband.

“Toast and juice.” —theadvocate.com

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Period shows from the Middle Ages and the Renaissance are big on Netflix, HBO, and Amazon—medici and The Last Kingdom, to name a couple. Here’s a list of obscure characters you’ll find way down on the credits:

1. The knight who was afraid to fight: Sir Render

2. The undercover knight: Sir Veillance

3. The knight who always guessed right: Sir Miser

4. The knight who showed up unexpectedly: Sir Prise

5. The knight who drank too much: Sir Rhosis

6. The dancing knight: Sir Prance-a-lot

7. The loudest knight of all: Sir Roundsound

8. The foulmouthed knight: Sir Cuss —kingdompursuits.com

He died doing what he loved: typing his symptoms into WEBMD instead of going to the doctor. —twitter@ristolable