Laughter, the Best Medicine

The best Medicine

A husband and wife who own a circus walk into an adoption agency looking to adopt a child.

“Are you sure the circus is the best place for a child?” asks the social worker. “I mean, all those dangerous animals, the constant traveling ...”

“The animals are trained,” says the wife. “And we have a state-ofthe-art 55-foot motor home that is equipped with a large nursery.”

“How will you educate your child?”

“We’ve arranged for a full-time tutor to teach all the regular subjects, as well as Mandarin and computer programming,” explains the husband.

“And the nanny is certified in pediatric care, child welfare, and nutrition,” the wife adds.

The social worker is

My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like, I KNOW, RIGHT? —twitter@swishergirl24

impressed. “Well, you do seem perfect. What age were you looking to adopt?”

The husband says, “It doesn’t really matter, as long as they fit in the cannon.” —planet proctor

Two regulars are sitting at a bar when one of them casually points to a couple of drunks across from them. “That’s us in ten years,” he says.

His friend takes a sip from his beer, sets it down on the bar, turns to his friend, and slurs, “That’s a mirror.” — Submitted by

Jack Arzonico Winston-salem, North Carolina Got a funny joke?

It could be worth $$$. For details, go to page 3 or rd.com/submit. A friend's five-year-old saw a rhino and called it a “battle unicorn.” Can we let five-year-olds christen new species please? twitter@zoeszooyoutube

The CEO of a large corporation was giving advice to a junior executive. “I was young, married, and out of work,” he lectured. “I took the last nickel I had and bought an apple. I polished it and sold it for a dime. The next day I bought two apples, polished them, and sold them for ten cents each.”

“I see,” said the junior executive. “You kept reinvesting your money and grew a big business.”

“No,” said the CEO. “Then my wife’s father died and left me a fortune.” —jewel993.com