Life in These United States

in these United States

“Howard, I think the dog wants to go out.” As we drove into Traverse City, Michigan, we were greeted by a billboard advertising a restaurant in town. Its claim: “Steaks bigger than an 8th Street pothole.” —Lou ann swatz Roscommon, Michigan

My three-year-old

grandson asked his mother whether his younger brother used to be in her stomach. “Yes,” she said. “How did he get there?” he asked.

“I’ll tell you when you’re a little older.”

“Just tell me this,” he said, concerned. “Did you eat him?” —Pat Jewell Shawnee, Kansas

Would love for one second of my adult life to feel as amped as I did as a child knowing I had five bucks to spend at the Scholastic Book Fair. —twitter @kristen_arnett

Apartment life often means little privacy. I realized that one day when my kitten was running around my bedroom, climbing onto shelves and into the dresser as I was

getting ready for work. I finally exploded at the kitten: “You’d better sit down; you’re getting on my nerves!”

A second later, a voice from upstairs responded, “OK!” —Ladonna Danielson Hughett Mansfield, Ohio

Mother was a health food nut, much to Dad’s chagrin. She was always adding wheat germ and other supplements to his food.

“You’ll live to be 100 if you keep eating like this,” she enthused.

“No, I won’t,” he muttered as he readied himself for another spoonful of fortified oatmeal. “But it’s sure going to seem like it.” —Anna Zeller Middletown, Connecticut

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