Reader's Digest

NEVER SAY NEVER

... unless it’s part of a clever collection of quotes called Never! 750+ Things You Should Never Do,

- edited by Gerd De Ley.

Never give up your seat for a lady. That’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.

- Milton Jones Comedian

Never, under any circumstan­ces, take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time. —Dave Barry, humorist

Never answer an anonymous letter. —Yogi Berra, baseball player

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It’s cheaper.

—Quentin Crisp, author

Never get annoyed if your neighbor plays music at 2 a.m. Call him

at four and tell him how much you enjoyed it.

Peter Darbo, film director

Never get between a female grizzly and one of her young, particular­ly if he’s just told her that he intends to drop out of college to focus on his band.

—Andy G. Ihnatko, journalist

Never slap a man while he is chewing tobacco.

—Will Rogers, humorist

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