Laughter, the Best Medicine
The best Medicine
What’s a sheep’s favorite Christmas song? “Fleece Navidad.”
—Spotted on rd.com
A Maryland man spent a year eating foods past their expiration dates—including moldy butter—to prove that those dates are arbitrary. The Week asked its readers to think of titles for an outdated-foods cookbook. Here are the most appetizing:
✦ Green Eggs and Ham and Cheese and Salami
✦ Eat. Pray. Live?
✦ Pasta Its Prima
✦ Gone Appétit
✦ Moldies but Goodies
✦ Baking Bad
✦ Better Ate Than Never
What does the Gingerbread Man use to make his bed? Cookie sheets.
—also Spotted on rd.com
Farmer Mcdonald set up a roadside stand to sell his fresh vegetables, and a very curious customer asked Mcdonald if his tomatoes were genetically modified.
“No, not at all,” said the tomatoes.
—theirishgifthouse.com
A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotist’s office. “I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday I had an affair!” she sobbed. “The guilt is killing me. I just want to forget that it ever happened!”
The hypnotherapist shakes his head and sighs. “Not again ...”
—As told by
ALEX CHAMP, hypnotist, on Facebook
What did one snowman say to the other? “Yeah, I smell carrots too.”
—hey, this was on rd.com too
A mother asks her young sons what they want for breakfast. The first little boy says, “I’ll have some @#$%^& pancakes.”
The mother angrily sends him to his room for cursing.
She then turns to the other little boy and, practically daring him, asks, “What do you want for breakfast?!”
The second boy responds, “Well, I sure don’t want the @#$%^& pancakes!”
—free-funny-jokes.com
I made dinner reservations for my wife’s birthday and told the host there’s an extra $20 for the bartenders if they card her. —twitter@social_mime (Dan Regan)
What’s red and white and falls down chimneys? Santa Klutz.
—Spotted on rd.com ... boy, we’ve been busy this christmas!