Laughter, the Best Medicine

The best Medicine

A man was driving on the highway when all of a sudden he had to swerve to avoid a box falling off the truck that was in front of him. Seconds later, a police officer pulled him over for reckless driving. As the officer was writing the ticket, the driver noticed the box he’d avoided had been full of nails and tacks.

“I had to swerve or I’d have run over those and blown my tires!” he protested.

“OK,” replied the officer, ripping up the ticket, “but I’m still bringing you in.”

“What for?!”

“Tacks evasion.” —Thealternativeaccountant.com

Not to brag, but my son’s friend said “Your dad looks hot” when I was cleaning the pool.

Interesting fact: A shark will only attack you if you’re wet.

—Sean lock, comedian

She followed with “Is that heatstroke?” but still.

— @Theboydp

Could a ...

... librarian be called a bookkeeper?

... referee be a game warden?

... dairyman be a cowboy?

... cabinetmaker be the president?

—Submitted by J. Lee Pinesdale, Montana

A Hollywood producer calls his friend, another Hollywood producer, on the phone.

“Hey, how are you doing?” he asks.

“Well!” responds the friend. “I just sold a screenplay for $200,000.

Got a funny joke?

It could be worth $$$. For details, go to rd.com/submit.

I also wrote a novel and got a $50,000 advance from the publisher. I have a new TV series airing next week, and everyone says it’s going to be a hit. I’m doing great! How are you?”

“OK,” says the first producer. “I’ll call back when you’re alone.” —Jim Pietsch in

The New York City Cab Driver’s Joke Book

Two guys stole a calendar. They got six months each. —Submitted by Alex Del Bene Girard, Ohio