Reader's Digest

All in a Day’s WORK

- Cartoon by Mike Shapiro

During a summer-camp sing-along around the campfire, I grabbed my guitar and accompanie­d the kids. After five or six songs, I asked, “OK, what should we sing next?”

One ten-year-old requested, “A cappella.” —George Heroux Springfiel­d, Illinois

A woman came to our funeral home asking for help finding a family member’s burial site. It took me a few minutes to look up the informatio­n and even longer to walk to and locate the actual plot.

The woman, now tired and winded, scolded, “You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you just put them in alphabetic­al order.”

—Sandy Moffett Bakersfiel­d, California

I was browsing in the men’s department at Neiman Marcus when a knitted black designer blazer caught my eye.

Although the tag said it was on sale, it still cost more than I cared to spend. Tempting fate, I tried it on. Just then, a saleswoman appeared.

“It fits you perfectly,” she said.

“Yes,” I said, “but I really don’t need it.”

Without missing a beat, she replied,

“We don’t sell things that people need.” —Joe Caputo in the New York Times

Client: There are four dots above the word sensitivit­ies in this design. What are they doing there?

Me: Those are the dots on the i ’s. —Clientsfro­mhell.net

Customers can take advantage of a generous return policy at REI, the camping-gear company. How generous? Here are return claims/ excuses that employees

have had to deal with:

✦ “I dried these boots by the fire, and the soles melted.”

✦ “I bought a different car, and this roof rack doesn’t fit it.”

✦ “A bear slashed my tent.”

✦ “EMTS cut my jacket.”

✦ “These river sandals aren’t sexy enough.” —Adventure-journal.com

Anything funny happen to you at work? It could be worth $$$. For details, go to rd.com/submit.

 ??  ?? “You have an incredible ability to cut through the noise
and get to the truth. We need you to stop that.”
“You have an incredible ability to cut through the noise and get to the truth. We need you to stop that.”

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