All in a Day’s Work
As my roommate drove me to work, I begged him to stop off at a diner. In a hurry, he begrudgingly pulled over. I jumped out and grabbed a coffee to go, and soon we were on our way again. But just as I was opening the lid to take a sip, he hit a large pothole, causing me to spill coffee all over myself.
“Didn’t you see that pothole?” I yelled.
He replied tersely, “I hit it, didn’t I?” —John Cuff Norwich, Connecticut
Client: Can you make that color better? Or maybe use a cooler font?
Me: That’s really not helpful feedback.
Client: OK. Make it nicer, then. —clientsfromhell.net
A customer came into the bookstore I managed and asked about a Bible to lay alongside a deceased person in an open casket. I showed her a pocketsize white Bible. As she thumbed through the pages, she remarked, “Isn’t the print too small?” —Rodger Turley Garland, Texas
“I’m working from home today.”
At the height of coronavirus chaos, our HR director sat the employees down and explained the elaborate procedures for visitors coming to the locked front door of our business. “Visitors must ring the bell, sign in, be interrogated about their health, and not pass the inner entryway once inside,” he said. Turning to one of my colleagues, he asked, “So what do you do when the doorbell rings?”
My colleague replied, “Go to the bathroom.” —Sherry Campbell Airway Heights, Washington
I conducted training on stress management and visualizations for relaxation. I seated the hearing-impaired up front so they could read my lips. At the end of the session, they shared a minor critique with me. It seems it was difficult for them to follow the visualization when I asked them to close their eyes.
—dumbemployed.com
Spotting a candle in my dentist’s bathroom with the helpful inscription “CALMING,”
I smiled cynically and thought, Oh sure. Later, as I nervously settled into the dental chair, I told my dentist that his candle wasn’t working. He replied, “That’s for us.”
—Jean Brown Elgin, Illinois
Anything funny happen to you at work? It could be worth $$$. For details, go to rd.com/submit.
A customer at our coffee shop said, “Imagine a hot veggie smoothie.” I’m wondering how to break it to her that soup exists. — @daynamcalpine