Laughter, the Best Medicine

The best Medicine

A couple’s doorbell rings while they’re sleeping. The husband opens the second-floor window but can’t see much because of a raging blizzard.

“Who’s there?” he yells.

“Could you give me a push?” a voice cries.

“C’mon, man, it’s two a.m.!” the husband replies. But his wife says, “Remember last winter when you got stuck in a snowdrift and a stranger pushed your car out? You should help this man!”

The husband agrees and goes back to the window.

“Are you still there?” he calls down.

“Yes,” comes the response. “I really would appreciate a push.” “All right,” says the husband. “I can’t see much out there. Where are you?”

“On the sled.”

—Submitted by Gary Katz

Long Grove, Illinois

Young Billy and Willy were walking home from Sunday school, where they had just learned about Noah’s

My New Year’s resolution is to get in shape. I choose round.

—Sarah Millican, comedian

ark. Willy asked, “Do you think Noah did much fishing?”

“How could he?” said Billy. “He had only two worms.” —Theadvocate.com

A lawyer had an operation. He woke up in his hospital room afterward and saw that all the blinds were shut. When he asked the nurse why, she said, “There was a fire across the street,

and we didn’t want you to think that the operation had failed!”

—Submitted by C.H.

via rd.com

If the person who named walkie-talkies named everything, would ...

✦ stamps be lickie-stickies?

✦ hippos be floatie-bloaties?

✦ pregnancy tests be maybe-babies? —GCFL.NET

A state trooper pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting.

The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, “Pull over!”

“No!” the woman yelled back. “It’s a cardigan!” —Knittinghelp.com

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