Laugh Lines

Imagine being a spy right now, stuck at home trying to convince your family you have a normal job. — @_Billiebelieves

Virtual meetings are basically modern séances. “Elizabeth, are you here?” “Is anyone else with you?” “We can’t see you. Can you hear us?” — @Mcclellandshane

Please quit telling me to “keep up the good work.” The good work was an accident and impossible to replicate.

— @House_feminist

Super unprofessional when ventriloquists argue with their puppets over which one is the dummy. Figure that out backstage. — @Chrisstephensmd

Now that my boyfriend is working from home, I’ve asked we liven things up by pretending we’re having an office affair.

— @Fernbrady

My boss just called me into his office and told me I’ve been spending too much time on Twitter. Hold on, he’s saying something else now.

— @Danmentos