Reader's Digest

Humor in Uniform

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Our platoon officer was a tough-talking woman who barked orders right and left. We referred to her as the Witch behind her back—or we thought it was behind her back.

One day, she encountere­d a private with a bucket on cleanup duty. As he came to attention, some water accidental­ly spilled onto her shoes. She let the soldier wallow in fear before asking, “Did you really think I would melt?” —Michael Barry Leawood, Kansas

As a young trainee, I was ordered to hand out the .30-caliber ammunition to the other guys. One catch: There was enough for only one bullet per person.

As I handed the single bullet to the machine gunner, he nonchalant­ly held the cartridge aloft and asked, “Do they want me to fire this all at once?” —Charles Petty Burke, Virginia

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 ??  ?? “Any time I’ve ever been asked ‘What do you want, a medal?’ I’ve said yes.”
“Any time I’ve ever been asked ‘What do you want, a medal?’ I’ve said yes.”

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