Laughter, the Best Medicine

The best Medicine

James received a bill for his recent surgery and was astonished to see a $900 charge for the anesthesiologist. He called the office to demand an explanation. “Is this some kind of mistake?” he asked when he got the doctor on the phone.

“No, not at all,” the doctor said calmly.

“Well,” said James, irritated, “that’s awfully costly for just knocking someone out!”

“Not really,” replied the doctor. “I knocked you out for free. The $900 is for bringing you back.”

—Submitted by

Arky Muscato

Peoria, Arizona

St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland. They gave him a great Uber rating.

— @Rollinintheseat

For Lent, I gave up ice cream, fast food, and pizza, but obviously not lying. —Submitted by Doug Torkelson Tulsa, Oklahoma

An executive was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager. He asked each applicant, “What’s two plus two?” The first interviewee was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and showed the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001. He didn’t get the job.

The next candidate was a lawyer. She stated that in the case of Jenkins v. Brown, two plus two was proved to be four. She also didn’t get the job.

The last applicant was an accountant. When the businessman asked, “What’s two plus two?” the accountant got up from his chair, closed the door, and said in a low voice, “How much do you want it to be?”

He got the job. —Smbtn.com

Kid: Mommy, why are all the cars beeping their horns?

Mom: Because there’s a wedding going on.

Kid: But Mommy, isn’t the horn a warning signal?

Mom: Exactly, son. —Herway.net

A guy tells his psychiatrist, “I always have this weird dream where I’m locked in a room. There’s a door, but no matter how hard I try to push it open, it won’t budge.”

“Interesting,” says the psychiatrist. “And does it say anything on the door?”

“Yes!” the guy replies. “It says ‘Pull.’” —Gcfl.net

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