All in a Day’s Work

Male teachers at my old school had to wear suits. But one colleague always managed to subvert the dress code by wearing the ugliest ties. Every day, staff and students alike couldn’t wait to see what hideous accessory he had on. When he retired, I finally asked him, “Why the ugly ties?”

He responded, “Because that way, no one would ever know I only owned one suit.” —Rod Hanson

Park Forest, Illinois

I gave a presentation to a small town as part of my role with North Carolina’s department of transportation. At the end, I asked whether there were any questions. There was.

“Can we move the deer-crossing sign on the state-owned road?” asked a councilperson. “Why?” I asked. “That location isn’t a safe place for the deer to cross.” —Suzann Rhodes Hampstead,

North Carolina

The science test question asked: What is hard water?

The student’s answer: Ice.

—weareteachers.com

When I worked at an employment agency, I was interviewing a candidate for an entrylevel job. I read his application as we talked: name, address, year of graduation, and so on. Then I looked at what he had written next to the box that read “Position desired.”

“Near a window,” it said.

—Sona Doran in the New York Times

My kindergarten student needed a glue stick, so I opened my supply cabinet to see what I had. “Wow! You have a lot of stuff!” he said. “You must make a lot of money. Where do you work, anyway?” —Connie Gahm Chillicothe, Ohio

I just spent 15 minutes liking photos of dogs on Instagram. Time well spent.

— @jeremyadamross

There are 68,000 medical billing codes doctors use to denote injuries and maladies for insurance purposes. These actual codes are among the more specific ones:

✦ W59.22XA: Struck by turtle

✦ Y93.D1: Stabbed while crocheting

✦ Z63.1: Problems in relationship with in-laws

✦ V91.07XD: Burn due to water skis on fire

✦ V97.33XD: Sucked into jet engine —healthcaredive.com and advanced data systems corporation