Laughter, the Best Medicine
The best Medicine
God is speaking to Moses.
God: I’ve got good news and bad news.
Moses: Give me the good news first.
God: The good news is that you have been chosen to deliver my people from bondage. I will force the pharaoh to free the people by sending plagues of locusts, frogs, darkness, devastation, and more. The pharaoh’s armies will chase you all the way to the Red Sea, but don’t worry. I will help you part the waters to aid your escape.
Moses: So, what’s the bad news?
God: You have to prepare the environmental impact statement.
—Submitted by
Robert Strand
Springfield, Missouri
The opposite of ...
✦ ... mermaid is landlady.
— @calbo
✦ ... formaldehyde is casualdejekyll.
— @Browtweaten
✦ ... Iceland is water water.
— @Hotbithoran
A husband and wife go to see a marriage counselor. At the start of their session, the counselor asks them what the problem is.
The wife starts listing every issue the couple had ever had in the 15 years they’ve been married. She goes on and on.
When she’s finally done, the counselor gets up, embraces the woman, and kisses her passionately. The woman is stunned.
The counselor then
Did you hear about the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for battery.
—Wideopenpets.com
turns to the husband and says, “That is what your wife needs at least three times a week.
Can you do that?”
The husband thinks for a moment before he replies. “Well,” he says, “I can bring her here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I golf.” —Bouldertherapist.com
I finally make enough money to be able to put a television in each room of my home. I live in a studio apartment.
—Submitted by
Louis Sapia
Weehawken, New Jersey
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