Feel Happy, Even When You’re Not

As simple as it sounds, plastering on a smile can be the first step toward cheering yourself up

Norman Rockwell created some of the most iconic images of 20th-century America. His paintings, such as the Four Freedoms series from World War II and The Problem We All Live With from the civil rights movement, were intended to evoke the best in people who saw them: hope, solidarity, courage, justice. But much of his work also inspired happiness, capturing scenes of lighthearted joy. Consider Shiner, which depicts a young girl with a black eye sitting outside the principal’s office with a grin that tells you she has just been the victor in combat.

I have seen these paintings my whole life, starting with my grandfather’s beloved dog-eared coffee-table book of Rockwell’s greatest works. A printing press operator in Longview, Washington, my grandfather was no art connoisseur. But he gave this assessment of Rockwell: “These pictures make me feel happy.”

And yet Rockwell himself struggled with happiness. In 1953, he moved to Stockbridge, Massachusetts, a bucolic town in the Berkshires—not for its natural beauty and peace but because it happened to be the home of a psychiatric hospital where he and his wife could receive treatment for chronic depression. There, he was a patient of the world-famous psychoanalyst Erik Erikson, with whom Rockwell racked up a therapy bill so large that he had to accept commissions for

Kellogg’s Corn Flakes magazine ads.

That a man with such significant happiness problems would be known for painting images of undeniable happiness might seem ironic. In truth, it’s not strange at all. Research shows not only that you can bring joy to others even if you’re unhappy but also that doing so is a reliable way to improve your own well-being too.

The key is to act like a happy person would, even if you don’t feel like it. Last year, researchers at the University of California at Riverside asked people to behave in either extroverted or introverted ways for one week. Those who purposely acted extroverted—which decades of research have shown is one of the most common characteristics of happy people—saw a significant increase in well-being. (Meanwhile, acting introverted led to a decrease.) Similarly, spending money on others and volunteering have been shown to raise one’s own happiness levels.

One plausible explanation is that prosocial behaviors induce a cognitive dissonance—i feel unhappy, but I am acting happy!—which people resolve subconsciously by feeling happier. Richard Wiseman, a psychologist at the University of Hertfordshire, in the United Kingdom, calls this the “As If Principle”: If you want to feel a certain way, act as if you already do, and your brain will grant you that feeling, at least for a while. In common parlance, “Fake it till you make it.”

I am not suggesting that “Fake it till you make it” is a substitute for traditional medical treatment for depression, of course. Rockwell was in formal therapy most of his adult life. But his happy paintings were clearly part of his treatment. As Rockwell’s biographer Deborah Solomon points out, “He was painting ... his longing.”

Even if not literally, you can use the Rockwell formula to bring joy to yourself and the people around you when you are down. First, ask what happy people in your situation would do to make things better for themselves and others. How would they greet others in the first call of the day? How would they write an e-mail? Whom would they call just to check in? If you’re stuck, interview happy people you know about the little things they do for their acquaintances and loved ones.

Next, make a plan to follow through on everything you just imagined. Write three ideas for extra-kind greetings on a Post-it note and stick it below your computer screen before that Zoom or phone call. Draft a sample e-mail in the voice of a happy person and use it as a template. By deliberately preparing yourself to cheer up the people around you the way a happy person spontaneously would, you’ll create the conditions by which you can produce your own happiness naturally—and give the gift of happiness to others as well.

The Atlantic (March 4, 2021), copyright © The Atlantic Media co. All rights reserved. distributed by Tribune content Agency, llc.