It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
We certainly live in strange times. Rather than despair, let’s focus on stories that are so crazy we have no choice but to shake our heads and laugh.
We live in strange times. Fortunately, some news stories are so crazy we can only shake our heads and laugh.
Also Serving Rocky Road Ice Cream
After a full year of street closures and incessant jackhammering, Natalie Naquin Harvey had had enough of the never-ending roadwork on her New Orleans street. So Harvey found a (bitter)sweet way to get even: She threw a birthday party for the repair, complete with party hats, balloons, and, of course, a cake, which she decorated with construction equipment, a Road Closed sign, and a street in shambles—much like the scene outside her front door.
“Happy first birthday to our street construction!” she posted on Facebook beneath a photo of her posing beside a construction excavator. “It was one year ago this week when they first began to rip up our street.
One year later, half the street is impassable—just last week, we had a massive six-foot-deep hole!”
The embarrassed city has pledged to speed up the roadwork. As tough as it has been, Harvey does see the bright side, telling bigeasymagazine .com, “I just love any reason to make cake.”
This’ll Teach You to Drink Alone
Celine Dion is a huge fan of Celine Dion. “She [is] my go-to person I listen to when I need cheering up,” he told the New York Post. He? Let’s back up. Last Christmas Eve, Thomas Dodd and a magnum of champagne were home alone in central England watching a televised concert given by the Canadian singer-diva. As the 30-year-old Brit drained the bottle, it became clear to him that he loved the crooner so much that he wanted to become Celine Dion. So he went online and, for a mere $120, legally changed his name. “I honestly, hand on heart, don’t remember doing it!” he says. “I remember watching the concert and remember getting rather tipsy.” He became aware of his actions only when he started getting mail addressed to Celine Dion. Though he’s happy with his new name, he thinks back on the champagne and admits, “That’ll probably explain a lot.”
On the Lam(borghini)
When trooper Rick Morgan pulled over an SUV going about 30 miles per hour and drifting across lanes on Interstate 15 near Ogden, Utah, last year, he expected to find a driver who was either severely impaired or having a medical emergency. Instead, Morgan discovered a five-year-old boy perched on the edge of the driver’s seat, his feet barely reaching the pedals and his head just clearing the dashboard. The child had taken the keys to the family car while his teenage sister was napping and drove two miles across town before getting on the freeway. He later told baffled police officers that he had been planning to make it to California so he could buy a Lamborghini. While he had only $3 in his wallet, he was, at least, driving in the right direction.
A Pink Slip or a Pie in the Face
Getting laid off can be traumatic. In fact, employees in New Zealand are allowed to have a “support person” accompany them to a pink slip meeting. Some bring a trusted friend, others a family member. After receiving a meeting invitation that strongly hinted he was about to be let go, Josh Thompson, a copywriter, went a different route: He invited a professional clown to be his booster. He felt sorry for the people who had to deliver the bad news, so he thought, Why not make it fun for everyone? While Thompson was getting the ax, the clown made balloon animals and
mimed crying. Everyone seemed to enjoy the act, says Thompson. But he admits there was one hiccup. “It was rather noisy with him making balloon animals, so we had to tell him to be quiet from time to time.”
I Believe I Can Fly
On three occasions last summer, midpandemic, Songshan Airport in Taipei allowed 60 passengers the chance to check in, collect their boarding passes, clear security, wait at their gate, and board a China Airlines Airbus. The plane promptly departed for ... nowhere. These lucky people had won a contest that let them roleplay a day at the airport, satisfying their nostalgia for the PRE-COVID time when it was easy to travel in and out of Taiwan. After being greeted by flight attendants, buckling up, and sitting on the tarmac for about 15 minutes, these wanderlusting travelers deplaned. One more bonus: no jet lag!
Let’s Go to the Videotape!
Caron Mcbride first learned she was a wanted woman after she got married. When she filed the paperwork to change her name on her driver’s license, she was told that she had been flagged by the computer and needed to call the district attorney’s office in Cleveland County, Oklahoma. They informed her of the charge against her: felony embezzlement. “I thought I was gonna have a heart attack,” she told Fox25. She asked what exactly she was accused of—she had never swiped money from a bank, misused escrow funds, or committed any of the other financial high crimes that usually result in embezzlement charges. In fact, she was told, the accusation against her was far more singular: renting a VHS tape of 21 years earlier—and failing to return it.
Mcbride, 52, swears
this isn’t true. She wasn’t watching
Sabrina when she was in her 30s, she insists, and she certainly wouldn’t have held on to the tape all these years. Fortunately for Mcbride, the store that owned the tape went out of business in 2008. The DA dropped the charges.
Polly Needs Her Mouth Washed Out
Last September, five African gray parrots—billy, Eric, Tyson, Jade, and Elsie—had to be separated for “encouraging each other to swear” at patrons at the Lincolnshire Wildlife Center in the United Kingdom. “We are quite used to parrots swearing, but we’ve never had five at the same time, and for some reason, these five relish it,” Steve Nichols, the zoo’s chief executive, told the Associated Press. People were mainly entertained by the potty-mouthed parrots. “When a parrot tells you to f— off, it amuses people very highly; it’s brought a big smile to a really hard year,” he said. But for the sake of children, the zoo decided it was best to put the birds in separate enclosures until they can behave.
Talk About a Snow Job
Ukrainian police received an emergency phone call from a man who said he’d just stabbed his mother’s partner. The victim, the caller said, was showing no signs of life, and the police should hurry. Oh, and bring a snowplow, because with all the snow it wasn’t possible to reach his house otherwise. Police arrived shortly after and discovered not only that the alleged victim was safe and sound but also that he had never been attacked. The call was a ruse by the man to have the road in front of his home plowed for free.