How should one handle a polarized congregation?
Polarization is painful.
The following suggestions are given to handle polarized congregations:
Adopt a wondering stand. Attract positive bystanders. Be crystal clear about your own position. Be elusive. Build an inclusive community where all are welcome. Confront disagreements with goodwill. Convince them that you really care. Dialogue is better than debate. Differences can be enriching. Do not engage in forceful exchange of facts. Do not withdraw from conflict for a long time.
Ego is a barrier. Elevate your pain tolerance level. Engage conflict when it begins. Everybody wants to be listened to and understood. Exhibit openness and respect. Favor ethics over politics. Fear can be the destroyer. Find help in the scriptures and other faith resources. Go for patient and respectful discussions. Grow charity. Interdependence and collaboration can help. Invest in fair fighters. Invite disagreement. Look for help in traditional liturgy.
Move forward by going deeper. Respond and not react to people who are different. Safeguard your people. Seek to manage priorities. Serve as a bridge for people. Start with commonalities. Stay away from the “us against them” attitude. Stay connected. Strengthen interpersonal relationships with “others.” Study how the issue was handled in the past. Truth always helps — be truthful. Try to understand rather than trying to convince.
Some insist: Just pray.
We asked our panel: How to handle a polarized congregation?
Modeling spiritual tools
Toni King, spiritual leader, Unity Center of Reno
Leaders of any religion practice stewardship when facilitating spiritual connections that address societal concerns and the atrocities of the outside world. These loving conversations can be uplifting and healing for all parties. The challenge is to do so without entering the realm of politics while focusing on God’s Love as the foundation for discussion. To effectively calm a divisive community, the head of a congregation strives to lead in a manner that models integrity and grace, guided by devotion to God and God‘s Will.
Humor, brain science and psychology, and even quantum mechanics are tools I enjoy using in addition to traditional Unity tools like Bible, Denial and Affirmations (to “deny” that an unwanted belief has power over you, creating space in consciousness for a higher truth spoken as an affirmations), and meditating on “Christ” Powers (God-inme) abiding in each of us we can call upon in times of distress.
Go to the heart of it
Daniel H. Mueggenborg, bishop, Roman Catholic Diocese of Reno
Everyone recognizes that we live in an increasingly polarized culture and that faith communities are affected by it. People tend to identify themselves by social causes, political stances, or broad categories such as “liberal” or “conservative.” Such an ideological identity is shallow and fragile.
For Christians, the issue should not be a person’s position but whether or not they are with Jesus. He alone is the source of our communion which is able to overcome every other cause of division. All doctrines and moral principles flow from him as Truth incarnate.
The starting point for handling a polarized congregation is to focus on Jesus in a way that both informs and challenges congregants regardless of their ideological stance. Such a balanced and properly prioritized approach helps keeps issues in perspective and relevant factors in proper order.
Leaders should stress charity, understanding and solidarity to overcome the disassociating effects of polarization.
The Buddha Dharma is really for everyone
Matthew T. Fisher, resident priest, Reno Buddhist Center
When election year rolls around we carefully and intentionally do not speak of such things. They are trivial artifacts of selfishness overhyped by a myopic press and fearful masses. At the temple we are all brothers and sisters and here we are all loved. We achieve a politics-free-zone by emphasizing spiritual development, insight and universal compassion. The goal of Buddhist practice is the pursuit of wisdom/compassion to attain enlightenment. To grow we lead life simply, minimizing involvement in conflict and division. Buddhism encourages letting-go of uncontrollable outcomes, fostering a focus on inner and outer peace.
With discipline, we strive to create a place of harmony, and simply refrain from political discussions that foment divisions among practitioners. Divisiveness may sell newspapers; it does not help us grow as people. An engaged Buddhist community cares for and offers kindness for all people without sinking into “us-ing” and “them-ing.”
Avoid talking politics and opinions
Micheal L. Peterson, northwestern Nevada media specialist, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
It is neither a challenge, a responsibility nor a spiritual necessity to preach about polarizing issues to congregation. In our church we do not engage in political issues nor do we support one political point of view nor endorse candidates, which takes care of most polarization among brothers and sisters. We preach and teach about Jesus Christ and His commandments and teachings such as love, faith, tolerance, forgiveness, service and so on. We teach His truth and not opinions.
All are welcome to attend services at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and would feel welcome and comfortable with what they hear taught. We are a worldwide church and have members of every nationality and political persuasion, including LBGTQ. We encourage community service and involvement even to the point of holding public office. Yet the only time that a political position would be taken is if morality were involved.
Love people more than ideas
Dawn M. Blundell, lead pastor, Epworth United Methodist Church, Fallon
The uncomfortable truth is that we will never escape passionate disagreement. There will never be a churchy utopia where every human understands things exactly the same way. There are currently over 45,000 Christian denominations in the world as a testament to the effort — the shiny new Global Methodist Church being one recent example — but (let’s be honest here) it never works. If we are to live together in unity, we need to love people more than we love our ideas.
I am not saying I know exactly how to do that. I don’t even mean to say that separating into new communities of faith is always wrong. But I do know that love in action is essential. We can and should talk about hard things, and when we seek in love to understand rather than judge or convince, we can build a bit of heaven on earth (Matthew 18:20).
Seek and embrace our common values.
F. Kevin Murphy, Sunday Forum chair, Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Northern Nevada
The former chief rabbi of Britain, Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, reminded us “For though my faith is not yours and your faith is not mine, if we are each free to light our own flame, together we can banish some of the darkness of the world.” He celebrated the “dignity of difference,” by which he meant that in resolving conflict, whether between states, denominations or members of a congregation, each side is called to respect even radically different views of the other.
That respect requires an active effort to understand, not to agree, but to understand the other. That understanding is a basis for finding common ground in shared values. This process of reaching outside one’s own convictions is spiritual practice that can deepen the inner peace that tests and refines faith. Then perhaps we can cheerfully say with Groucho Marx, “I cannot say that I don’t disagree with you.”
Teach and exhibit ethical behavior
ElizaBeth Webb Beyer, Jewish rabbi Our Sages modeled the ability to argue both sides of an issue and hold paradox. Conflict is not inherently a problem, but dehumanizing disrespect cannot be permitted. An angry, polarized congregation is one that has fundamentally forgotten their essential purpose — to compassionately create spiritual community dedicated to G-d.
Leaders can preach, encourage and model ethics and exhibit the behavior expected — being fair, transparent, even-tempered, authentic and honest. Stories from our legends suitable for teaching are the price of anger, the evil of gossip and the need to respect everyone regardless of their opinion. Humor sometimes helps diffuse anger.
If one person or group refuses to engage in respectful communication after a private meeting with the rabbi reminding them of the need for kindhearted behavior, they may be invited to leave. Quite frankly, we can’t always serve everyone. Be humble. Put the needs of the congregation first. Sometimes leadership needs to leave.
Living a richer, fuller life
Stephen R. Karcher, presiding priest, Saint Anthony Greek Orthodox Church
Republic of Georgia Church representatives have stated that “any attempt at polarization and chaos, any unbalanced call, from whatever (direction), is far from the Church.” Yes, it’s that age-old problem of sin, says another, that polarizes, making discourse inhuman and inflexible. For this, we need a Divine remedy, and to try living all aspects of our lives within the Church, meaning that our aspirations, relationships, discussions and discernment ought to be framed within lives of prayer, fasting and participation in the Church’s sacramental life (Cohen).
Clergy can guide this desire for transformation by encouraging “deeper obedience to God’s will wherein life becomes richer, fuller, and more fruitful” (Reno). By eliminating chaos and by becoming faithful we will have the means to rise and overcome polarization; we’ll have the incentive to leave behind our blind allegiance to political parties and we’ll find the desire to transcend the pettiness of superficial ideologies.
Build on what you have in common
Nancy Lee Cecil, Baha’i teacher Polarization results from a worldview based on dominance and “otherness” — one that badly needs revision. A philosophy that strives for unity and recognizes the common humanity of every person of every race, ethnicity, class — or point of view — is the only one that can quell our current polarization. Thus, two tips for a harmonious community: build on your commonalities and don’t discuss politics!
The Baha’i Writings remind us, ”So powerful is the light of unity, it can illuminate the whole earth.” To that end, Baha’is are exhorted to remain nonpartisan in regard to politics.
Trying to remain above the fray of polarization, though, is challenging for flawed individuals such as I. Early in the pandemic, when I voiced my concerns virtually or in person, I was straying from this guidance. I was soon reminded of its wisdom! I foolishly alienated friends who I knew to be decent and caring individuals.
Love and vision bring unity
Bryan Smith, lead pastor, Summit Christian Church, Sparks
Jesus knew living in church community would be a challenge. Why? Because people from different backgrounds, experiences, hopes and wishes would be involved. So how to get disparate people pulling on the same rope in the same direction? Two components: love and vision.
Jesus tells us in John 13:34-35, “As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Love, placing others above self, mitigates potential polarization. It’s hard to draw battle lines when I’m too busy genuinely loving others. I wish this was better lived out!
Vision brings unity as well. When we have a defined common vision, like reaching others with the good news of Jesus, we know where we’re headed. When we know where we’re headed and loving each other well, genuine unity is forged in deep and abiding community.
Delicately, with a smile
Kenneth G. Lucey, philosophy/religion professor emeritus, University of Nevada
According to Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary, a congregation is “an assembly of persons” and “to be polarized” is to have been broken up into opposing factions or groups. By these criteria, my college courses on Core Humanities and World Religions qualify. Both were large lectures which consisted of a wide range of student viewpoints.
On rare occasions, students would react to something they heard in lecture by “booing” me or a classmate, which probably qualified them as “polarized.” I often employed humor as a lecture staple, but my main tool was detailed intellectual arguments for both sides of an issue. For example, in my World Religions course I would attempt to give equal attention to arguments on all sides of disputed questions, with the inevitable consequence that on almost every occasion some subset of my “congregation” had opportunity to dispute some part of the presentation.
Next week’s topic: Can religion and politics ever be separated?