Dear Abby

Richmond Times-Dispatch - - COMICS, ETC. - — Univer­sal Uclick Dear Abby: or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069

Dear Abby: My mother-in-law is the WORST! She has no re­spect for me. She has stolen, lied and gos­siped about me nu­mer­ous times. Each time, I chose to for­give and move on.

Re­cently, my hus­band made clear that he wants to cut ties with his mother and sib­lings be­cause they con­stantly be­lit­tle his suc­cess and ask to bor­row money.

My prob­lem is, I can’t agree to it. I de­spise his mother, but I was raised to be­lieve fam­i­lies should never sever ties. I be­lieve ev­ery fam­ily has its ups and downs.

My hus­band and I con­stantly ar­gue be­cause I con­tinue to com­mu­ni­cate with his mother and ex­tend in­vi­ta­tions to her. Abby, I just want to do the right thing, but I can’t seem to fig­ure out what the right thing to do is. — S.O.S. IN GUAM

Dear S.O.S.: Your hus­band’s fam­ily is a threat to your fi­nan­cial sta­bil­ity and emo­tional health. Un­less you want con­tin­u­ing dis­cord in your mar­riage, re­spect your hus­band’s wishes. Rec­og­nize that his fam­ily is ex­tremely dys­func­tional and do as he asks. If you don’t, the ar­gu­ments will es­ca­late un­til they dam­age your re­la­tion­ship with him.

Dear Abby: Af­ter be­ing in a bad mar­riage for 40 years, I fi­nally left my hus­band in 2011. Af­ter two years of sep­a­ra­tion and ther­apy, we rec­on­ciled. Dur­ing the time I was gone, he leaned on his long­time friends for sup­port and shared lots of personal in­for­ma­tion about me, some of which was un­true.

The other evening while we were hav­ing din­ner and drinks, a mu­tual friend and I were talk­ing about health, and I told him I was hid­ing a cer­tain hip prob­lem from my hus­band. He asked why, be­cause my hus­band had told him about it years ago.

The rea­son I left was my hus­band’s anger at me over a hospi­tal emer­gency room bill. I told this friend that my hus­band’s con­cern for my health is not sin­cere be­cause he had re­cently blown up at me for men­tion­ing an up­com­ing doc­tor visit. I am on Medi­care. Now

I’m wor­ried that I may have wrecked their friend­ship by re­veal­ing how un­car­ing a hus­band he re­ally is. How did I get here? — QUES­TION­ING MY­SELF

Dear Ques­tion­ing: How did you get here? You got here by re­mar­ry­ing a man who has such a big is­sue with spend­ing money on health. If you stay with him, it could be cat­a­strophic.

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