Dear Abby

Richmond Times-Dispatch - - COMICS, ETC. - — Uni­ver­sal Uclick Dear Abby: or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069

Dear Abby: A guy I’ve known for years re­ceives tons of food from a food pantry his sis­ter runs. It sick­ens me be­cause he’s fi­nan­cially set. He brags to me about never ever hav­ing to buy gro­ceries again. I think about the chil­dren and fam­i­lies who are in need of food dur­ing these ter­ri­ble times.

Ob­vi­ously, if his sis­ter is al­low­ing this, she is do­ing the same thing. I told him he should be ashamed of him­self for tak­ing ad­van­tage of this pro­gram. His re­sponse was that he served our coun­try, so he’s en­ti­tled! He truly feels the food is owed to him. — DIS­GUSTED IN CON­NECTI­CUT

Dear Dis­gusted: And your ques­tion is? Those two ap­pear to have no con­science. Con­tact the head of the or­ga­ni­za­tion that spon­sors the food bank and tell the per­son what you have writ­ten to me. “Sissy” is guilty of theft by fun­nel­ing food to her brother and pre­vent­ing a needy fam­ily from hav­ing it. Shame­less.

Dear Abby: My hus­band and I mar­ried two years ago. A year later we wel­comed our first child. I never imag­ined I would ever want a di­vorce. Well, I found out early this year that my hus­band has a fetish/fan­tasy about big­ger women. (He ac­tu­ally said it.) He is a “feeder.” He has pur­chased books re­lated to these things and watches videos and reads sto­ries about it while sit­ting next to me on the couch! It turns him on. He has asked me to con­sider gain­ing weight. I told him he needs help.

I made an ap­point­ment for him to see a ther­a­pist, and am forc­ing him to go. I feel cheated on and dis­re­spected. I don’t know how to han­dle this bomb he dropped on me. I don’t know how to be with some­one who has such a strong im­pulse. I hate to feel at fault for walk­ing away and break­ing up our fam­ily, but I can’t go along with this and risk my health. Any help is ap­pre­ci­ated. — WIFE OF A FEEDER

Dear Wife: Be­cause you al­ready have a li­censed men­tal health pro­fes­sional in your data­base, sched­ule an ap­point­ment for your­self to help you ra­tio­nally de­cide what you need to do. (Can your hus­band be con­tent to have his fan­tasy but not in­volve you?) You may not want to “feel at fault” for walk­ing away, but you aren’t go­ing to change him, and your first re­spon­si­bil­ity must be to main­tain your health so you can par­ent your child to adult­hood.

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