Serious girlfriend is surprised to learn that boyfriend is still married

Dear Abby: I am currently dating someone, and although it hasn’t been that long, so far everything has been great. We have discussed the topic of marriage, having a child of our own and have even considered adoption.

One day he told me he wanted to tell me something. He ended up saying that before going into the military years ago, he “had” to marry his ex. Problem is, although they have lived apart for three years, she isn’t his ex. They are still married. He said they have no interest in being together and have both moved on. When I asked when he plans to divorce her, he said he hasn’t had the financial capability to do so. I don’t know how to take this. Any advice?

— Thrown In Nevada

Dear Thrown: You need more information. Has this man been supporting his ex all this time, or is she self-supporting? Who is supporting the children? How much money does he think he will owe her if they divorce?

I’m not familiar with the divorce laws in Nevada, but an attorney who is licensed to practice there will be. It would be very much worth your while to make an appointment with one to discuss what your boyfriend has told you.

Dear Abby: I work two jobs and took time off from my second job so I could watch my four grandchildren for a week when their parents had to go out of state. They did call the 14year-old daily, but never once called or spoke to me. Am I being cranky or is that disrespectful?

— Feeling Like Dirt

Dear Feeling Like Dirt: I don’t blame you for being miffed. It was thoughtless and ungracious of them not to ask to speak with you for a minute. However, if they didn’t respect you, I’m sure they wouldn’t have left their children in your care.