Teenage granddaughter in sketchy situation resists efforts to help her

Dear Abby: My 15year-old granddaughter has lived for the past several years in an environment with adults who have done drugs, can’t or won’t keep a job and are in and out of jail. I want her to have a better life, and I try to explain what a responsible adult life looks like. But when I do, she accuses me of being judgmental and non-accepting because these people are “nice.” How can I get her to understand that the lifestyle she’s exposed to isn’t good without coming off as judgmental?

— At A Loss for Words

Dear At A Loss: The lessons we teach others don’t always have to be verbal. One way would be to expose your granddaughter — as often as possible — to people who have chosen a different way of life and are reaping the rewards for it. Perhaps then she will begin to draw her own conclusions and realize that she can have a different life if she’s willing to work toward it.

Dear Abby: I am a 13-year-old dancer, and I recently had a recital. The mothers came backstage to help their children change in the dressing rooms.

A girl my age who has two lesbian mothers was near me while I changed. It made me feel self-conscious.

I’m normally not like this, but it felt awkward, to say the least. I’m not against same-sex couples, but it felt weird. Am I overreacting?

— Midwest Dancer

Dear Midwest Dancer: I think so. Those two mothers were more interested in what was going on with their daughter than with you. If you plan to become a professional dancer — or part of any branch of the performing arts — you will be changing costumes under all kinds of conditions.