Reader follows daughter’s wish and keeps granddaughter sercret from ex

Dear Abby: I divorced my wife 20 years ago, leaving behind two daughters. My older girl was 5 when I left, and due to my ex’s lies, I wasn’t able to see them. When my older daughter turned 18, she contacted me. She confessed that she had been forced to lie in court, and we reconnected. At 19, she came to me pregnant. She asked if I would take her baby and asked that I tell no one, especially her mother. I agreed. Last year, my daughter died in a car wreck. Should I go against my daughter’s wishes, tell my ex and risk her taking her? Or should I let things remain as they are?

— Secret in Virginia

Dear Secret: I am trying hard to come up with a reason why you should go against your daughter’s wishes and disclose this to your ex, and I cannot think of a single one.

Dear Abby: I’m concerned about my daughter. She’s 12 and wants to hang out with a 21-year-old male volunteer from her school. His mother works there, and I’ve known their family for a few years, although we’ve never socialized.

Recently, my daughter said she wants to meet him at a park to learn some skateboard moves. She tries to tell me it’s harmless, that he just likes the skateboarding sport, but I am uncomfortable about the age difference and the fact that he works at her school.

I don’t know what to do. What’s your advice in this situation?

— Stumped in California

Dear Stumped: Although the young man’s motives may be pure, I do not think your daughter should be meeting him at the park without supervision. Accompany her so you can gauge the situation.