Friend is disparaging of reader’s new relationship, says ‘enjoy while it lasts’

Dear Abby: I have been lucky enough to have fallen madly in love with the most wonderful man in the world. We have been together for two years and living together for almost a year. I’m in my mid-30s; he’s in his mid-40s. We both have had plenty of experience in love — enough to feel sure that we’ve found the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with.

My best friend has been very disparaging of our relationship and makes rude comments about it. If I tell her how happy we are in spite of the pandemic, she says it’s because we’re still in the “honeymoon phase.” If I describe something kind that my boyfriend has done for me, she adopts a condescending tone and makes remarks about “new love” and that I should enjoy this now because it will change.

She’s the same age I am and has been with her fiance for nine years. I have always been very supportive of their relationship, but she seems incapable of offering me the same level of support in my love life. When I try to talk to her about something she has said or done that bothers me, she often becomes aggressive, and I don’t know how to approach this subject without getting into an argument or losing our friendship. What should I do?

— Proudly Lucky in

Love

Dear Proudly Lucky:

Could your friend be suffering from a touch of jealousy because you constantly extoll your boyfriend’s virtues?

If you can’t talk to her about sensitive issues without her becoming aggressive or you being afraid of losing the friendship, it doesn’t take a crystal ball to see the two of you are growing increasingly distant with the passage of time. I do think you should ask your friend why she reacts the way she does and tell her how it makes you feel. It may be the only way to save your friendship.