Napping is the key to U.S. economic recovery
As a small businessman (I’m 5-foot9), I’m always on the lookout for ways to improve productivity and office morale.
Over the years, some of my workplace improvement ideas have worked splendidly – “Popsicle Wednesday” being a fine example. Some haven’t, like the ill-fated “Wrestling for a Raise.”
But this time, just like last time, I think I am on to something that will revolutionize the American workforce, making our laborers happier and more productive, cure baldness, inspire some new hymns, and jump-start us out of the economic fog of this pandemic.
I can’t speak for other businesses (or mine, really), but the greatest impediment to workplace efficiency and joy in the world is what I call the “Mid-Day Slump.” Around 2 to 3 p.m. each day, employees everywhere find themselves in the throes of a tired and uninspired malaise. For me personally, my “Mid-Day Slump” lasts from around 9:15 a.m. until about 8 p.m., except when I’m not at work.
For years, I’ve sought a cure to this workplace ailment – none successful. Apparently, using a cattle prod to keep employees alert is frowned upon in some circles.
One of my children reminded me the other day that when he and his siblings were younger, they were forced to take naps. Aha! Naps! It’s that simple.
Think about it. Every Sunday, I try to take a nap after church, usually around 1 p.m. When I wake up – at around 6:30 p.m. – I am refreshed, renewed, and eager to tackle all sorts of projects – like watching the end of a football game.
When our kids were young, at preschool, they made them take naps – in an effort to recharge their batteries and make sure they didn’t get tired and cranky after noon – basically, to avoid the aforementioned “Mid-Day Slump.” My children never actually went to sleep during these nap times, or since then, but that’s not the point.
Just think of the productivity adult workplaces could achieve if workers had the energy in the afternoons that little kids have – skipping about, sticking things into other employees’ mouths, and yelling for no apparent reason.
Upon further research, I’ve found that Europe has had a different version of this idea in place for centuries. In Italy, workers break up the workday by having a long lunch, where they consume much wine, then take a nap. This schedule has done wonders for their prosperity, as they’ve risen from the dark days of the Roman Empire to their current state.
In Spain, which also may or may not be in Europe (I’ll check the Google machine later), they also take a mid-day slumber – which they call a “siesta.” So as not to confuse my American brethren, we’ll simply call ours the “Len Robbins Mid-Day American Workers Nap.”
A chicken in every pot, and a cot in every workplace.
Let’s Make America Late Again!