6 career-damaging ways we make bad impressions
Did you know that you flub workplace and social interactions all the time? You do. So do I. So does everyone, says Ovul Sezer, an assistant professor of organizational behavior at the University of North Carolina. She studies so-called “impression mismanagement” and the social bellyflops by which you offend, insult or create distrust between yourself and others in the workplace, often unintentionally and obliviously. It’s all entirely avoidable. Here are the common offenders, so you can steer clear of them from now on.
Backhanded complimenting
What it is: Praise that draws comparison with a negative standard or stereotype.
Example: “You’re funny for a woman.”
What’s the problem? You just insulted her entire demographic.
Do this instead: Give the praise without the qualification. “Compliments go a long way,” Sezer says. “They’re an incredible social glue, and often make you feel very happy for giving them, not just receiving them.”
Humble bragging
What it is: Sharing good news or self-compliments under guise of a complaint or false humility.
Examples: “I didn’t even put makeup one — I don’t know why all these people are hitting on me.” “The mail is so unreliable — I didn’t get my Harvard acceptance letter until yesterday.”
What’s the problem? It comes off as insincere, as well as fake. Even nice, wellmeaning people, such as you, humble brag. For example, in a job interview you might “spin” a negative question positively, answering that your biggest weakness is your insistence on doing the right thing.
Do this instead: If you need to share, complain, or brag, do it directly. If it’s self-congratulatory, try, “Do you mind if I pat myself on the back for a moment?” Sezer says, “People really want to see a genuine approach.”
Mansplaining
What it is: Advising or explaining to a recipient who knows more about the topic than the explainer. This is very common in the corporate world, where executives commonly opine longwindedly to underlings and (cough) female reporters.
Examples: “I’m explaining to you in great detail how to operate this machine that
Say you sign up for HBO Max to watch “The Flight Attendant.”
The eight-episode season concludes, and you browse for your next binge-viewing fix. Maybe you turn on “Wonder Woman 1984” or rewatch “The Sopranos.” How long before you go to your Apple device’s subscriptions tab and drop the $15-a-month app? A month? A week? A day? That’s the issue facing media and entertainment companies as the battle for streaming audiences settles into a new phase. During 2019 and 2020, studios launched Disney+, HBO Max, Peacock (which has both paid and free tiers), Apple TV+, Discovery+ and others, all betting on original, exclusive programming to draw users. The coronavirus crisis has been a boon for the streaming industry you designed.” “Welcome to the company. I’m going to tell you all about the topic in which you have a Ph.D.”
What’s the problem? The speaker mistakenly assumes he has more experience or status. (Fun fact: Mansplaining is not actually driven by gender, despite usually presenting in gendered form.)
Do this instead: Before you launch into an explanation, quickly ask your listener about her experience on the topic.
Femmesplaining
What it is: When a woman explains a (usually) nonwork topic the listener already knows about, such as child-rearing or housework.
Example: “Daughter-inlaw, let me tell you how to raise your own child.”
What’s the problem? The recipient did not ask for this information. Also, she’s the world expert on her own child.
Do this instead: Loosely broach the general topic, and don’t expound further unless your listener specifically asks for your input.
Name-dropping
What it is: Casually mentioning high-status people or institutions in an effort to associate yourself with classy, competent, fun or connected people.
Examples: “Zuck really wanted me to stay at Facebook.” “I used to eat a muffin every morning at Yale.” “I was at a BBQ with Shaq and…”
What’s the problem?: You come across as fake. Namedropping is a particularly common error in networking, where people quickly try to communicate status.
Do this instead: If you must name-drop, do it in the context of work or organizational connections, which is more socially acceptable than bragging about social ties. For example, “Oh, I used to attend Mark Zuckerberg’s weekly publicity team meeting.”
Inside joking
What it is: Humor about something one of your listeners is too unfamiliar with to understand.
Example: (Co-worker says in a voice imitating a manager): “Come on y’all, where are the crayons?” (raucous laughter)
What’s the problem? The outsider feels awkward, left to either ask why crayons are funny, or pretend to laugh at the word “crayons.”
Do this instead: Only crack jokes that all listeners can understand. “Humor is a tool that brings people together, but with inside joking, it is dividing,” Sezer says.
How fast do you cancel streaming services? It’s a problem for Hollywood By Ryan Faughnder
as movie theaters, concert venues and sports arenas continue to suffer.
The problem is that, because they are so easy to cancel, those services are seeing a lot of people leave after they finish watching the shows that convinced them to sign up in the first place. That phenomenon, known in the industry as “churn,” is a growing headache in the streaming wars, according to a new report released by professional services giant Deloitte.
According to Deloitte’s survey of 1,100 people in October, 46% of respondents canceled at least one streaming service in the last year. That’s a dramatic increase from the 20% who said in a similar January survey that they’d canceled a service. Of the people surveyed who canceled a streaming subscription, 62% did so because they finished the show or movie that they had signed up to see, Deloitte said.